Conversations with Critters Is 3 Years Old!
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And Happy Happy Anniversary, Critters! Plus! The highly anticipated release of Chapter 12 of the Case of the Jumping Gene!
Today Critters, we first and foremost want to thank you with all of our luvluvluv for reading. Cuz. CwC is 3 years old! Thank you very much for your support, on every level of readership, over these past few years and for keeping us engaged and motivated to keep on writing on. Hooray! Hooray!
A Special Thank You to our paid subscribers and those of you who have bought copies of our book! Thank you for keeping kibble in the Critters’ bowls!
In celebration of this 3 year milepost, we are pleased to present the highly anticipated release of Chapter 12 of The Case of the Jumping Gene! There’s no time like the present, so let’s read all about it!
Previously! The Critters named names. No. More. Numbers. But. With the Alpaca Farm and a Furever Home on the far horizon, a suspicion is sneaking up on our intrepid sleuth, Jasper Kitten.
Now! Will his instincts serve him correctly? Will he solve what gnaws at him? Are we keeping our sights set on the horizon or looking up close and personal? So. Many. Questions.
Please! Give a warm welcome to our Core Community Critters, Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent keep on writing on critter commentary and conversation!
Jasper: Critters, thank you for being here with us for our Big 3 Year Anniversary Post!
Chris: Thank you very much, Friends. We’re so happy to have you here with us. Naturally.
Jojo: Furever, Dear Gentle Critters and Dear Gentle Readers as we present:
THE CASE OF THE JUMPING GENE
BOOK 3 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 12
BEAST MODE
Meanwhile, back at the dog sleds, Jasper Kitten trudged through the snow to confer with Sir Skipper.
“Of course, Sir Skipper, of course,” agreed Jasper Kitten, his brow furrowed as he squinted into the blaze of the sun. “We ride tonight under cover of darkness.”
“My team is rested and at the ready, Jasper Kitten,” continued Sir Skipper. “The Alpaca Farm is a long journey through rugged and uncharted territory, but we know the way. I expect clear skies tonight. The moon will be bright and Sirius will be visible for celestial navigation. We can get you there by dawn.”
“Thank you for your assurances and highly advanced directional skills, Sir Skipper. Given Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo’s own expertise in Ginormous Group Rescue, he feels quite confident in your recommendation of the Alpaca Farm as a proper destination and even as a possible Furever Home for the cats,” asserted Jasper Kitten.
“Yes, Jasper Kitten, I give you my word on that. The Alpaca Farm has room for one hundred cats easily with plenty of room to roam and engage in playful activities of a domesticated nature. There is also a Barncat Work Program on the premises if they want to keep busy,” commented Sir Skipper.
“I am concerned about the Ginormous Group making the transition from a bad lab based experience to a domestic lifestyle,” emphasized Jasper Kitten.
“Your concerns are most appreciated and understandable, Jasper Kitten. Your task at paw is not to be underestimated,” he concurred.
“Sir Skipper, Jojo also feels confident that we could add the feline creature comforts of a Catio where they can relax and socialize and feel safe in their daily lives. May I please ask for your professional assessment of this build out on the farm given your onsite familiarity with their operations and facilities?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“In terms of creature comforts, the alpacas are most welcoming and, I must add, accommodating. However. They are not known for being, shall we say, particularly handy. All of their architectural planning and construction was contracted with a third party,” apprised Sir Skipper.
“Chris is known for his DIY toebean skills, Sir Skipper. We can handle the Catio construction if the alpacas will permit it,” mewed Jasper Kitten.
“Certainly, Jasper Kitten. I am in full agreement with Jojo. Consider the Catio construction on the Alpaca Farm already done. All you need to do is ask when we arrive,” advised Sir Skipper.
“Thank you kindly, Sir Skipper. We will have the Ginormous Group ready to depart at dusk,” affirmed Jasper Kitten.
“Excellent. And please, feel free to load your gear at any time that is convenient for you,” invited Sir Skipper.
Jasper Kitten gave a nod in the affirmative and returned to the Lava Caves, but his Orange striped brow remained furrowed as he descended into the darkened interior. The suspicion which gnawed at his awareness continued to sneak up on him more and more as he padded back to his Critter Detectives.
“Gosh, Jasper Kitten,” barked Star, “you look very concerned. Did something happen over the course of your conversation with Sir Skipper?”
“Everything went well with Sir Skipper,” he replied, “but I just can’t shake this feeling. It gnaws at me and yet I, I can’t quite put my white gloved paw on it,” he cried.
He paced back and forth and then stopped mid-stride.
“Yes, that’s it,” he swatted the air and put his paw down.
“Why, Jasper Kitten, what is it?” growled Chris, low and slow.
“Critters, when Charlotte was under hypnosis, she talked about the Orange labcats, the Rufus Subsets, hiding in plain sight,” recalled Jasper Kitten. “I believe that is where we need to start in order to find out who is really behind this case. We need to take a closer look at what is so very very obvious. How could I have missed it! How could I have been so blind!”
“Are you saying…,” barked Star.
“Do you mean…,” growled Chris.
“Yes. Exactly. Charlotte needs to be hypnotized again if she will grant me permission. Cuz. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that I know who’s really pulling the levers at the Bio Lab. A villain so elusive yet so infamous, I should have thought of him first and foremost.” Jasper Kitten swatted the air again and again with a white glove paw and set out to find Charlotte, mingling with the Ginormous Group.
Trying as she might to blend in, he spotted her right away as she stood out with the only remaining genetically modified Orange coat in the group. Jasper Kitten pulled her aside and whispered in her ear and she gave a slight startled response that went unnoticed by the rest of her friends, laughing and joking with each other. Charlotte stepped away from them and followed Jasper Kitten back to the quiet recess of the cave where she had been hypnotized before and deprogrammed.
“Shall I make myself comfortable at this time, Jasper Kitten?” inquired Charlotte.
“Yes, please. And thank you, Charlotte,” said Jasper Kitten. He pulled the pocketwatch out and let it dangle by the chain.
“The thanks are all mine,” she exclaimed and settled into a sitting position, soothed by the melodic sound of the stream running through the Lava Caves.
“Your cooperation in this matter is much appreciated. Are you ready?” he asked.
“Ready.”
Jasper Kitten set the pocketwatch in motion, back and forth, back and forth, a glint of the gold plating reflected in Charlotte’s eyes.
“You are getting very very sleepy,” he instructed.
Charlotte blinked slowly slowly and a far away look came over her. She counted down from one hundred and fell into a trance between ninety-six and ninety-five.
“What is your name?” asked Jasper Kitten in an even mew.
“My. Name. Is. Charlotte,” she intoned.
“And where do you live, Charlotte?” he queried.
“In the Lava Caves of the Mt. Bachelor Wilderness,” she answered flatly.
“And is this your Furever Home?” he asked.
“No.”
“Do you know where you would like to find your Furever Home?” Jasper Kitten pressed on with his line of inquiry.
“At the Alpaca Farm,” she replied, rote.
“And where did you come from?” led Jasper Kitten.
“From the Bio Lab Pacific Northwest By Northwest,” she replied.
“Charlotte, when you were at the Bio Lab, did you have a clue about who was really in charge of the experiments that you were subjected to?”
“I don’t know. It’s a big secret,” she said, toneless.
“And so you have no inkling about who it is?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“No. But. I heard talk,” she said, her gaze distant as she blinked slowly slowly.
“What did you hear?” Jasper Kitten was all ears.
“The Bio Lab and the experiments by the Experimental Experimenter are being controlled by a criminal mastermind,” she lifted a toebean and pointed toward the distance. “An. Escape. Artist.”
The Critter Detectives gave a subtle collective intake of breath and rocked on their toebeans, but continued to maintain a safe distance for Jasper Kitten to lead the hypnosis without disruption. They shot a furtive glance at him.
“Did you hear a name called when you heard this talk?” asked Jasper Kitten, his mew level, controlled.
“Bus or Bub or Buh Buh or something…,” her voice trailed off, but a whisker twitched to the right and then to the left.
Jasper Kitten locked eyes with his Detectives and a moment of silence passed between them, calm yet intense and expectant. He increased the swing of the pocketwatch.
“You are still very very sleepy, Charlotte,” he said in rhythm with the watch and Charlotte’s whiskers held still.
“Take your time and when you feel ready, please say the name of this criminal mastermind. You will recall who this is clearly and fully,” instructed Jasper Kitten.
“He turned us Orange. He used us like fodder,” cried Charlotte.
“Who, Charlotte? Who did this to you and your friends?” pressed Jasper Kitten in his pursuit of finding out the truth.
“Busby Bubbs,” she stated.
“Busby Bubbs,” repeated Jasper Kitten, stunned.
“Yes.”
“Thank you, Charlotte. This is all we need to know. I am going to count to three and when I do, you will wake up and go back to socializing with your friends. You will feel completely refreshed and, for your own sake and safety, will not remember any of this. Do you understand?” Jasper Kitten readied his white gloved paw.
“Yes. I understand.”
“One. Two. Three,” and he swatted the air before Charlotte’s very eyes.
She blinked in rapid succession and focused on Jasper Kitten.
“How do you feel, Charlotte?” he asked.
“I feel fine, Jasper Kitten. May I please return to my friends now?” she asked in return.
“Of course, Charlotte,” and he led her back to the company of the Ginormous Group, steady on her toebeans. “Thank you very much for your assistance.”
“You’re welcome, Jasper Kitten. Anything to help the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency,” she replied.
“Please, enjoy your time socializing at your leisure,” he said and watched her try to blend in again.
Fiona sidled up to them, reached out a toebean for Charlotte and pulled her close.
“Oh, there you are Charlotte, I’ve been looking for you. You simply must come over here and catch up with Jimmy, Timmy, Teddy and Tommy,” enthused Fiona.
“Of course, Fiona. Please, excuse me, Jasper Kitten,” nodded Charlotte while Fiona swept her away.
“By all means.” Jasper Kitten watched them go lest he appear to be in a hurry, but then returned in haste to the Critter Detectives, barely able to conceal his excitement.
“Busby Bubbs!” cried Jasper Kitten. “That’s it! That’s why I had such a sneaking suspicion!”
“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, but Busby Bubbs hasn’t been heard from in years and I can attest to that fact with all of my can do Senior Chihuahua attitude and experience,” cried Star, her cinnamon brown paws held wide.
“Yes, I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten, “but that is also part of his elusive criminal nature and I was this close to missing it!”
“Jasper Kitten, you are being too hard on yourself,” bark bark barked Jojo, “throughout my career in the Sheriff’s Department, Busby Bubbs was an enigma, not so much a ghost but a spook fur sure. We could never find him, much less apprehend him and put him away in the slammer for good. He. Is. That. Elusive.”
“Your point is well taken, Jojo. And I agree with you. We will not be able to track him down, although we have intercepted his most recent experiment before he could unleash it on the world,” replied Jasper Kitten. “He’s been pulling disappearing acts for everything from heists to what I now suspect to be an enterprise of both espionage and embezzlement of a global nature while hiding in plain sight. The labcats have been used as fodder to all look alike, an army of foot soldiers to fan out around the globe, to populate and perpetrate a Critter Criminal Conglomerate.”
Jasper Kitten’s words, his assessment and his summary, rang in the minds of the Detectives and gave them pause over the state of the investigation. They huddled together with considerable and careful, very careful thought.
“Permission to speak, Jasper Kitten,” saluted Petal.
“Of course, at ease, Officer Petal” granted Jasper Kitten.
“Clementine and I studied Busby Bubbs in Officer Training School,” she informed him.
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Was this part of an historical analysis of criminal enterprises?”
“In part, Jasper Kitten, but we also studied Busby Bubbs in a Current Events Seminar on How to Leave No Stone Unturned. Even in an academic setting, his criminal activities are still considered quite relevant today.”
“Cuz. He’s so elusive as you’ve said,” added Clementine.
“Thank you, this is most helpful knowledge, Clementine and Petal,” praised Jasper Kitten.
“Why, Busby Bubbs has his elusive toebean prints all over this investigation, but what are we gonna do to crack this case wide open open open and catch this escape artist?” growled Chris, low and slow.
“Good question,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “C’mon, Critters! We’re gonna let Mr. Bubbs do something completely counterintuitive and unheard of throughout his long criminal animal career.”
“Gosh, what is it, Jasper Kitten?” asked Star of the Orange striped sleuth.
“We’re going to let him. Come. To. Us.”
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
Who pulled the levers?
Undetected and global
You are not fodder
By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo
Critters! Catch up on all of the mystery and adventure with The Case of the Jumping Gene! Book Number 3! Brought to you by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency!
Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap. 7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11
The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Book Number 2!
Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap.7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap. 14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20
The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope! Book Number 1!
Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap. 7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap.14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20
The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope
Happy birthday to the critters!
Congratulations on your 3-year Celebration, Miss Heidi and Critters! Wow! We are so happy for you!
Will there be merch available at the seminar (and on CWC Substack) for critters, or will it only be for humans? I (Emily) like to get dressed up, so I would like a Critters t-shirt or bandana. My brothers wear bandanas.
Please be careful up there, Critters. I'm feeling anxious about the way things are going,
Our best to all of you and Miss Heidi,
Emily, on behalf of the Hounds and Cats at Hound Hollow