Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 5 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!
Today, Critters, we present to you the highly anticipated release of Chapter 5 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Now. Where did we leave off?
Previously! The J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency has made a critical discovery that starts to crack the case open. A boarded up Catio. A bog. And a tarnished teapot bearing an ancestral family motto. Where will these clues lead our intrepid detectives next? Let’s find out. Right. Away.
Please, welcome welcome our Core Community Critters Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent hardwired critter commentary and conversation.
Jasper: Hello, Critters! Welcome to our latest chapter and I have to tell you, the clues are coming to us hard and fast!
Chris: That’s correct, Critters! Please, stay grounded as we are about to hop to it.
Jojo: Copy that, Jasper Kitten and Chris. Critters. Get. Ready. Get. Set. Go go go!
THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT
BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 5
SPLICED
The Critter Detectives trudged back to the passageway after their discovery of intergenerational trauma in the Catio with much to consider amidst the shattered crockery and tarnished teapot.
“Gosh, the ramifications of this family dynamic are a big part of Mr. Lord of the Manor’s British Shorthair lineage. I can see why he faints so easily under stress and duress,” barked Star, the light flashing in her eyes.
“Yes, Star, your point is well taken about Lord Archibald’s emotional substrate,” replied Jasper Kitten as he focused the beam of the headlamp straight ahead and led them back toward the library.
“That Catio. Is. A. Crime. Scene,” growled Chris, low and slow.
“Correct, Chris. Something is very wrong on the ancestral lands of the Purrington Estate for such violence and domestic damage to have taken place and then been shut away like that,” agreed Jasper Kitten.
“And so close to the physical substrate of the bog, Jasper Kitten,” barked Jojo. “This very much concerns me on both an emotional and physical level for Lord Archibald.”
“Thank you, Jojo, you are most insightful and I instinctively share in your concerns. We will return in daylight to further investigate the bog and the potential for the preservation of evidence.”
The ground began to dry out and the Critters felt the slow ascent of the passageway beneath their toebeans. They padded along toward the library, each one absorbed in further thoughts of the Catio crime scene and of their case showing its first cracks.
“Jasper Kitten?” asked Star.
“Yes, Star?” he mewed.
“The motto in Latin on the tarnished teapot that means purr furever is most curious to my canine way of thinking,” she barked.
“In what way, Star?”
“Gosh, Latin is an ancient language, but if the British Shorthairs can trace their ancestry back to Ancient Egypt, why didn’t we see hieroglyphic writing on the tarnished teapot instead?”
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten and stopped in his tracks.
“Jasper Kitten, what is it?” she asked.
“You may be on to something of temporal and ancestral importance, Star. Good thinking.”
“About what exactly, Jasper Kitten?” she cried.
“About how far back in time this family rift really goes.”
“Do you mean…,” she said.
“Are you saying…,” added Jojo.
“Yes, you are correct. It may be intergenerational, but it may be closer than we think.”
Jasper Kitten picked up the pace again and the Critters closed in on the bookcase. They approached the entryway and Chris leaned a paw against the wall, waiting his turn behind Jasper Kitten. A jolt shot through his toebean, hot and electric, and he leapt aside.
“Chris!” cried Jasper Kitten. “What. Just. Happened?”
“Jasper Kitten! Shine the headlamp on the wall over here!” cried Chris in response.
The beam scanned the wall, highlighting a recessed small metal box.
“Careful!” called Chris. “This is an electrical junction box and it’s not grounded!”
“Gosh! What’s an electrical junction box doing in a secret chamber and passageway to the library, anyway?” exclaimed Star.
“Good question, Star,” growled Chris, low and slow.
Jasper Kitten adjusted his headlamp and traced a wire from the box, leading to the library. He stepped over the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary, Volume N-Z, the doorstop in the rotating bookcase previously placed by Star with her Chihuahua can do attitude and foresight.
“This dictionary doorstop definitely came in handy, Star,” called Jasper Kitten, bounding back into the library.
Chris ran ahead of him, following the wire hidden under the thick plush carpet all the way to the library desk and the WiFi modem.
“This wire is spliced into the WiFi of the Manor House,” he growled, loud and proud. “It is subtle, but I can see where the slice of a retractable claw has been made with surgical precision. A smooth operator has tapped into the Manor House system in a sophisticated use of the latest in encrypted technological toebean finesse.”
“That’s how it could be made to look like the threatening emails came from right here in the Manor House!” barked Jojo.
“Correct, Jojo,” agreed Jasper Kitten.
“Gosh, it’s been made to look like an inside job!” barked Star.
“We have to go back! There must be an exiting wire from the junction box,” called Chris as he ran back to the hidden passageway. “It’s here! I can feel it! Jasper Kitten, I need the light from your headlamp!”
Jasper Kitten sprang back into the hidden chamber, illuminating the wire that exited from the junction box and disappeared into the base of the passageway wall.
“Here it is!” cried Chris, picking up the trail. “The wire is buried in a shallow trench and runs along the edge of the passageway floor. The trench is no deeper than the length of a toebean with a retractable claw.”
He kept going, pulling the wire up and ahead of him. The Critter Detectives traversed the passageway for a second time. They popped up at the staircase and continued to follow the wire across the damp and soggy lawn.
“Chris, are we headed for the bog?” called Jasper Kitten.
“No, I don’t think so,” he called back. “It’s going away from the Purrington property if my instincts serve me correctly.”
“Gosh, this wire could certainly get short circuited from these wet conditions,” commented Star.
“Correct, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Perhaps, the wire has not been here for long.”
“Only long enough to serve the purpose of threatening Lord Archibald and his guests of The Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society!” barked Jojo.
They continued to follow the wire across the lawn for over a mile until they came to a road that bordered the Purrington Estate.
“We’re on the outskirts of the Village of Mewingham!” cried Jasper Kitten.
The Critters hugged the side of the road that curved toward Mewingham while Chris continued to pull the wire up from the shallow trench.
“This place sure looks deserted,” observed Jasper Kitten.
A thatched cottage sat along the High Street where they found themselves, peat smoke rising from the chimney. A sign hung next to the front door and the wire led directly to it.
“The Top Cat Pub,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Closed for renovations.”
“This way,” signaled Chris and followed the wire along the edge of the pub and around the back. Chris tugged at the wire one final time and it held firm where it bore into the wall.
“We have reached the origins of the wire. It is holding fast at last,” he whispered to Jasper Kitten, Star and Jojo.
Jojo stood under a solitary window above the wire’s entry into the wall. Star hopped onto Jojo’s back and grasped the sill with her cinnamon brown paws. She stretched to her full height and peered inside.
“Star, what do you see?” asked Jasper Kitten in a hushed voice.
“There’s light from a laptop screen. The cursor is blinking, but the screen is blank,” she relayed. “Furthermore, the laptop is on a pub table next to a pint of Ginger Ale.”
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Can you describe the room?”
“From my research during the transatlantic flight into the customs and conventions of drinking refreshing beverages in England other than tea, I’d say this is what is known in the English English vernacular as a Snug in a Pub. It does look quite cozy.”
“Thank you, Star. This intel is invaluable to our investigation at this crucial juncture.”
“Jasper Kitten, there’s more,” she continued.
“We’re all ears, Star. Please. Proceed.”
“Gosh, the pint of Ginger Ale is either half empty or half full.”
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “This is quite compelling as well as quite cozy.”
“Furthermore, if it’s half empty, it could mean that this so called Smooth Operator got interrupted during the commission of sending an email,” suspected Star, the light flashing in her eyes. “But if it’s half full, perhaps another round of threats is about to be sent to our Client, Mr. Lord of the Manor.”
Star crouched down as a British Calico Shorthair stole into the Snug. She sat down at the computer and started typing in a hunt and peck style with one left toe bean and one right toe bean. She stopped. And stared into the distance. She sniffed the air, paused, and then shrugged and resumed typing.
A steady rain began to fall and the Critter Detectives sheltered under the thatch eaves of the Top Cat Pub. Star kept her eyes level with the window sill and relayed the movements of the Calico.
“Gosh, I wish that I had brought my reading glasses. Even with my Senior Chihuahua can do attitude, I didn’t think far enough ahead of reading beyond the library,” she sighed.
Chris tap tap tapped the screen of his phone with a series of codes.
“Why, I’m hacking her computer, so no worries, Star. We’ve got this. Let’s see if she’s legit or if she’s the so called Smooth Operator,” he informed the Detectives.
“The fact that she has a laptop and not a desktop makes her highly mobile and a potential flight risk if she is not legit,” commented Jasper Kitten.
“I can guard the front door,” declared Jojo with his tried and true Terrier temperament.
“Thank you, Jojo, but let’s stick together for now,” confirmed Jasper Kitten. “You are providing Star with invaluable support.”
“Roger that, Jasper Kitten,” confirmed Jojo, standing firm. Star continued to steady her hind feet toebeans on his back.
“Here, my phone is loading. She’s typing an email and using her own email address as the sender,” noted Chris.
“So that’s a legit move,” affirmed Jasper Kitten.
“Subject line reads AGRIBSS. It’s all blind carbon copy, bcc, to a group list.”
“That could be legit or the next surreptitious move of the so called Smooth Operator,” inferred Jasper Kitten.
“Wait. It’s a memo about the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society and I quote: Meeting confirmed. See you all soon at the Purrington Estate. This year will be more Incredible than ever before. Drinks are on me. I am writing in advance from my temporary and local lodgings. Please, if you are in need of any further assistance in your travels prior to the commencement of our event, do not hesitate to contact me. Signed in all manner of sincerity, your Fabulous President, Dame Cleopatra Firestone-Fields, Top Cat Pub, Village of Mewingham.”
The wind picked up and the steady rain grew stronger and pelted the Detectives. They drew in closer together.
“Is she writing anything else?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“Nope,” replied Chris.
“She’s swigging the Ginger Ale, Jasper Kitten,” observed Star at the window. “And she closed the laptop! Now she completely drained the pint and polished off the Ginger Ale! She’s stretching and yawning and stoking the fire. She just hopped onto one of the wingback chairs by the fireplace and went to sleep! At a time like this!”
Star climbed down and huddled next to Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo.
“Gosh, why would a Dame stay in a snug in a pub, especially when it’s closed for renovations?”
“Good question, Star. It does seem rather paradoxical for her to stay in a snug in a pub, but your insights have been most revealing,” praised Jasper Kitten.
“Thank you, Jasper Kitten,” she said. “Thank you very much.”
“Maybe the Dame owns the joint,” speculated Chris. “My phone battery is really low after hacking into her laptop, but I’m searching her bio right now. It’s slow to load.”
“Gosh, maybe she’s an heiress to some kind of ancestral fortune,” surmised Star.
“Star, you are really onto something,” replied Chris. “Dame Cleopatra Firestone-Fields is sole heiress to one of the oldest British Shorthair family fortunes and she got her inherited wealth from one of the longest held Ginger Ale breweries in Britain, called Hiphop.”
“Old money,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Intergenerational wealth. But we cannot risk further draining the phone battery. Can you look into that for us more deeply when we get back to the Manor House, Chris?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“Of course, Jasper Kitten,” confirmed Chris and powered off the phone.
“Critters, our Client Lord Archibald comes first,” continued Jasper Kitten. “We have made another invaluable discovery with the wire which is the technological source of the threats against his Lordship and his soon to arrive guests. Cleopatra seems legit, but we cannot yet rule her out either. However and Furthermore. We also cannot yet come to a conclusion about who is responsible and thus, the true identity of the Smooth Operator remains a mystery at the highest echelons of British Shorthair Society.”
“Why, even being closed for renovations doesn’t rule out the Smooth Operator having access to the premises. Plus, what kind of renovations are really going on at this pub? There’s no sign of construction and the place looks to be in good shape,” observed Chris.
“At least, outwardly, Chris,” remarked Jojo.
“True, Jojo,” said Chris. “Tried and true.”
“Gosh, my keen olfactory senses detect a mildewed odor emanating from the building, although not as significant in degree as the Catio which is uninhabitable both in physical and ancestral terms,” relayed Star.
“Ditto, Star,” sniffed Jojo.
“Perhaps the plumbing infrastructure of the Top Cat Pub is not what it seems,” replied Jasper Kitten.
“Are you saying…,” gasped Chris.
“Yes. Correct, Chris. I am saying that the Top Cat may be closed for renovations due to a burst pipe.” Jasper Kitten swallowed hard and went on to say, “This establishment could very well have had a water leak.”
“That would be devastating for the cat clientele,” growled Chris, low and so.
“Yes. Actually,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “But for whatever reason, of this I am sure. The J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency will not be misled, manipulated or outmaneuvered by the trickery and downright deceit that has masqueraded as an inside Manor House job.” Jasper Kitten swatted the rain with a white gloved paw.
“Jasper Kitten, this hardwired clue calls for split-second and up to the minute action,” advised Jojo in a hushed bark. “Whoever ran this wire has intimate knowledge of the secret passageway and the rotating library bookcase of the Manor House.”
“Correct, Jojo. Critters, the time has come to make a collective executive decision to cut the wire. Right here. Right now. Right. At. The. Source,” declared Jasper Kitten.
The Critter Detectives nodded in agreement.
“This,” confirmed Jasper Kitten with a furrowed Orange striped brow, “will give Lord Archibald some much needed peace of mind. Chris. Please. Proceed.”
“Why, take this, Smooth Operator,” growled Chris as he severed the wire with such force and focus that he barely even registered the voltage that fired through his toebean.
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
Careful of voltage
Temporal and ancestral
A snug in a pub
By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo
Very nice read on Chapter 2 Heidi! I'm an optimist so a glass of Ginger Ale is always half-full. ;)
I'm luvluvluving the way this is weaving the history of cats into the story. Very nicely done. The end... 😎👍