Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chap. 9 of The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope!

Oct 08, 2024

Today, Critters, we are pleased to present the latest and greatest episode, the one, the only highly anticipated release of Chapter 9 of The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope!

When we last left off, the mystery took another deep deep dive for the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.

Now, what will happen next? Will our Critter Detectives pull out all the stops in their race to reunite the Serval Family? Or will they be left stranded dockside as the Nefarious Perp makes a getaway? Please, stay tuned as all this and more is in store! Welcome welcome our Core Community Cats, Jasper Kitten and Chris, in excellent detective critter commentary. Take it away!

Jasper: Hello, Critters! We’ve got a mysterious set of circumstances to explore with you!

Chris: Hello, Friends! We’ve been tapping tapping our toebeans on the keyboard to bring you the latest detective developments!

Jasper: That’s right, Chris! As you like to say, the suspense is so suspenseful!

Chris: What. Will. Happen. Next?

Jasper: Critters, let’s read all about it in Chapter 9!

The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope
Book 1 from the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency
By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star in Heaven Furever and Ever
Dedicated in luvluvluving memory of Star
CHAPTER 9
Animal Magnetism When Nothing Rhymes with Orange

The Critters ran after the boat, but were left far behind in its ever widening wake. An eerie silence engulfed them on the dockside of Dogpatch as they stopped to catch their breath.

“Detect this, Nefarious Perp,” Jasper Kitten muttered under his breath and swatted the air with a white gloved paw, fierce and ferocious, again and again.

“Why, I’m going to blow my stack with that Nefarious Perp,” hissed Chris.

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten and Chris, we must remain calm, cool and collected, especially at a time like this with the Nefarious Perp on the loose. Please, put your hackles down at once,” said Star. “Now look, you’ve made Clementine start to cry.”

“You’re right, Star,” Jasper Kitten said by way of apology. “My instincts must naturally serve me in thanking you for being the voice of reason.”

”Yes, thank you very much, Star,” said Chris. “The Nefarious Perp’s getaway and being a cat in close proximity to water has indeed agitated us. My humble and sincere apologies.”

”We can do this, we simply must remain clear headed,” she affirmed.

The Critters huddled close to Clementine, who had burrowed deep into Cecil’s shoulders. The salt of her tears and the salt of the marine air blended into one. She tried to hold back crying with deep, deep gulps of air.

”There there, Clementine,” purred Cecil, reaching up to pat her head. “There there, my special little furbaby.”

A sense of relative calm soon fell over them and they took a step toward home, but then another motor shattered the stillness.

A Zodiac blasted out of the fog at full throttle with none other than Capt. Kangaroo Rat in command, racing and chasing after the boat that had disappeared into the morning mist.

”Ahoy! Jasper Kitten! Critters! Meet me at the end of the dock! I’m on the Nefarious Perp’s tail!”

Jasper Kitten charged ahead, leading the pack to the end of the dock. They hopped into the Zodiac, clasping paws with Capt. Kangaroo Rat as she ushered them aboard.

”Quickly, Critters!” she ordered. “Put on your life jackets!”

Cecil shrugged into his vest first and then helped Clementine fit into her own while Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star wasted no time getting ready and set to go go go.

”Safety is paramount!” shouted Capt. Kangaroo Rat as she gunned the motor and the Zodiac raced across the water.

They sped northwards through the Bay, following in the wake of the boat and leaving Dogpatch far behind. They zoomed under the Bay Bridge and banked a hard left along the Embarcadero, passing Fisherman’s Wharf as they darted into the Golden Gate waters.

They cruised along at top speed, but the wake had dissipated and the trail dissolved into the crisscross of traffic from the other boats. Still, they pressed on.

“Which way did they go?” cried Jasper Kitten.

“I’d say, if my instincts serve me correctly, they’re headed out to sea!” replied Capt. Kangaroo Rat.

“Let’s try it! Go go go!” urged Jasper Kitten.

The Zodiac surged ahead.

“Gosh, I’m so glad we don’t have to pay a toll on the water,” said Star, shaking off a blast of spray that fell over the prow.

They passed under the Golden Gate Bridge and headed toward open waters. A mile out, Capt. Kangaroo Rat navigated the Zodiac in widening circles, searching for any sign of the Nefarious Perp’s trail that had grown cold.

”I’m sorry, Critters, but we’ve lost them,” she bowed her head.

They bobbed on the water, shrouded in the expanse of dissipating fog, in the vast space of the Pacific Ocean, dejected by the open waters which stretched out far and empty and desolate all around them.

”Thank you for making such a valiant effort to help us nab the Nefarious Perp and crack the case,” said Jasper Kitten, solemn and intent.

“Of course, Jasper Kitten,” replied Capt. Kangaroo Rat.

”May I ask, with all due respect, what happened back there on the docks? What prompted you to give chase?” queried Jasper Kitten.

”I saw a boat heading toward the Golden Gate when I was back on my Main Ship after breakfast at the Sidewalk Crittercafe. A desperate mewing was coming from that boat which was most suspicious and alarming.”

“I see. This is also what alerted us. Were you able to see the name of the boat or any identifying registered numbers?”

”Unfortunately, I was not, but the mewing alerted me to the case that you must be trying to crack. I knew it was a long shot. They had a head start, but I had to try.”

”Thank you, Capt. Kangaroo Rat, thank you very much for being so attuned and alert to such a suspicious circumstance.”

“Of course, Jasper Kitten, of course. In the name of Justice on the High Seas and on your behalf at the J Kitten, Sleuth and Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency, I, Capt. Kangaroo Rat, made the split second executive decision to hop into my trusty Zodiac and go after the Nefarious Perp. It was fortunate indeed that I saw all of you up ahead dockside and we could join forces in hot pursuit of the mystery boat. And yet…and yet, I have failed you.”

Capt. Kangaroo Rat removed her hat and wiped her brow.

“I am sorry,” she said. “The Pacific Ocean is a very big place.”

”Yes,” said Jasper Kitten. “Perhaps, too big.”

He gazed toward the horizon, obscured in the fog, as Capt. Kangaroo Rat navigated back toward the Golden Gate.

The Zodiac pulled up alongside the dock closest to the Earthquake Shack and the Critters disembarked.

“Capt. Kangaroo Rat, would you like to join us for a refreshing beverage at the Earthquake Shack?” asked Jasper Kitten.

”Gosh, pardon me for the interruption, Jasper Kitten,” said Star, “but I dropped my doggy bag of sourdough biscuits in the Bay when we made that left turn at top speed along the Embarcadero. Oops.”

”No worries, Star, we do have other snacks to offer the Captain.”

Capt. Kangaroo Rat held up a paw.

”Thank you for this most generous offer, but I must return to my Main Ship. The Degus will be returning shortly from their self-guided shore excursion of San Francisco. They will need some time in their staterooms to groom themselves, but I must prepare for our next port of call on our culinary tour of the Lettuces of the Americas. Farewell and, please, if I can be of any further assistance in your investigation, do not hesitate to notify me.”

She saluted them and sped off in the Zodiac.

Meanwhile, back at the Earthquake Shack, Jasper Kitten and Chris checked their perimeters and Jasper Kitten made a specific security check of the attache case of evidence. All was in order. He added Clementine’s collar and dented chrome plated bell.

The set of magnifying glasses and Star’s backup pair of reading glasses rested on the coffee table in the same exact place where he had left them in what seemed like ages ago. He pulled the Treatise on Animal Magnetism out of the attaché case and set it down.

Cecil combed Clementine’s fur, gently purring to her as they relaxed on the Catio. He cradled her in his arms and she drifted off to sleep.

”Gosh, Mr. Cecil Serval,” said Star, “I’m awful sorry we couldn’t catch that boat.”

”Thank you, Star. Everyone did their best. I can’t help but suspect the rest of my family is onboard, however. I have no words for my feelings.”

Star met his green eyes with a steady understanding gaze.

”We will not rest until you are reunited with your family. We are the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency at your service. And now, I have more investigative work to do.”

Star hopped onto the Couch and adjusted her reading glasses. She opened the Treatise on Animal Magnetism with her cinnamon brown paws, turned to page 71 and started to read.

She gazed at the description of migratory patterns and species from continent to continent, from ocean to ocean, on currents of wind and water, over hill and over dale and then the light flashed in her eyes.

”Jasper Kitten,” she said, a hushed tone of awe in her voice.

”Yes. What is it Star?” he sidled up to her on the Couch.

”When I first started reading, these migratory patterns seemed rather complex, but I believe there is a simpler truth hidden within them.”

Jasper Kitten leaned in closer, intrigued.

”You see…,” she pointed to the page with her cinnamon brown paw.

”Yes, I do see…,” he also pointed to the page with his white gloved paw.

”It’s a code.”

”It is. It’s embedded in the words that refer to the twelve listed specific locations on the migratory pathways.”

”Correct. The code is a puzzle known in the vernacular as an acrostic. Each word contains a letter and these special letters add up to special new words. From the list, here are the twelve locations: Sea, Africa, North America, Forest, Rangeland, Alpine, New South Wales, Canada, Inland, Savanna, Coastal, Ocean.”

”Star, this is remarkable. Quite remarkable, indeed.”

“Yes. And they all spell one place in particular.”

”S-A-N-F-R-A-N-C-I-S-C-O.”

”Gosh. Furthermore, Jasper Kitten, look closely at the species who are listed in association with each location.”

”The species are both similar and diverse, but the numbers don’t line up, Star. There are not twelve species listed. There are only nine: Jaguar, Antelope, Giraffe, Elephant, Dog, Tiger, Ox, Tomcat, Hoot Owl.”

”The list of species do not necessarily match the list of locations one for one, Jasper Kitten. But they do line up within themselves if you count certain letters twice.”

Star re-read the listed species and gave a satisfied sigh.

”Aha,” she whispered. “Jackpot.”

”Why does it spell, Jackpot?” asked Chris, carrying a tray of assorted snacks into the Catio from the kitchen.

”It doesn’t spell, Jackpot, Chris. It spells something else,” said Star.

”Thank you, Star,” said Chris. “Thank you very much for the clarification.”

”You’re welcome!”

”Yes,” nodded Jasper Kitten. “I see what you mean, Star.”

”J-A-G-G-E-D-T-O-O-T-H.” Star spelled it out and reached for a snack, satisfied with her reading of page 71.

”We haven’t cracked the case yet, but we have cracked a code in the Treatise on Animal Magnetism.” Star took off her reading glasses and set them on the treatise.

”Clearly,” said Jasper Kitten, “we have come to the right place here in San Francisco.”

”So, if that’s all encoded on page 71, what’s on the other pages? I mean, the treatise is really quite long,” said Chris, pouring glasses of Ginger Ale.

”This could be quite a long night, Chris” said Jasper Kitten. “Or not. Location,” he mewed. “Location. Location.”

Jasper Kitten jumped at his magnifying glass on the coffee table.

”Star, do you have a map of California in the glovebox?”

”Yes, of course, Jasper Kitten.”

”Please, fetch it from the car, Star.”

Star hopped off the Couch and trotted outside to their off street parking space. She rifled through the glovebox and pulled out the map of California and returned to the Catio.

”Here, Jasper Kitten,” she extended a cinnamon brown paw to him. “The map includes 840 miles of coastline, all of the roads and the Western most part of the Pacific Ocean, and photo inserts of points of interest and outstanding natural beauty.”

”Thank you, Star. The map is comprehensive to say the least,” he said, unfolding it.

Jasper Kitten spread the map out on the coffee table. With his magnifying glass, he studied the Golden Gate.

He looked up from the map.

”Gosh, what is it, Jasper Kitten?” asked Star.

”Star, please check page 71 again. Are there any numbers associated with the list of locations and species?”

She scanned page 71.

”Yes!” exclaimed Star.

”Please, read it outloud to me if you will.”

”There’s a footnote, Jasper Kitten. It’s the only footnote on page 71. The number is, of course, the number one and it is marking the specific location, Ocean.”

”That can’t be right, Star. The number one doesn’t make sense. What is in the footnote itself?”

She scanned down to the bottom of page 71 and yipped with excitement.

”The footnote is cryptic, Jasper Kitten! 30 W GGB.”

Jasper Kitten focused his sight through the magnifying glass again.

“30 W,” he mewed at the big number and letter. “GGB.”

”Jasper Kitten. Star,” said Chris, taking a draft of the Ginger Ale.

They both turned to him.

”Perhaps the 30 W is both a measurement and a direction.”

”From the Golden Gate Bridge!” they all cried.

”Critters!” exclaimed Jasper Kitten. “We were headed west on the Zodiac, but we didn’t go far enough.”

“How far should we have gone?” asked Star.

”Thirty miles out. Thirty miles west.” Jasper Kitten tapped a toebean on the map.

”Where is it, Jasper Kitten?” asked Chris.

”Critters,” said Jasper Kitten, circling his white gloved paw at the edge of the map. “The specific location, 30 miles west of the Golden Gate Bridge, is the Farallon Islands. And the formation of the land, my friends, looks like a jagged tooth.”

Chris set his Ginger Ale down on the coffee table, Jasper Kitten set his magnifying glass down on the map, and the light flashed ever so bright in Star’s eyes.