Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And introducing The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency!
Today, Critters, we hit the ground running with the introduction to the first and completely historic original chapter of the one, the only, The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope by J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.
In a disappearing act, the likes of which we have never witnessed before in the annals of time at CwC, our Core Community Critters, Jasper Kitten, Chris and our Senior Shining Star, tackle this full length mystery right here, right now. Please, join us in excellent detective critter conversation.
Jasper: Hello and welcome, Friends! On behalf of my Co-Critters, Chris and our Senior Shining Star, please allow us to present our First Chapter of our First Detective Story. It is our honor to share with you, The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope!
Chris: What.
Star: Take it away, J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency!
THE CASE OF THE MISPLACED PRIORITY ENVELOPE
Book 1 from the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency
by Jasper Kitten, Chris & Star
*****
Chapter 1
A Close Call
Jasper Kitten eased up on the gas prior, just prior, to slamming on the brakes. He stopped short of the Big Rig by a whisker.
”That Big Rig cut me off,” he cried as a sheet of water from the road, wet with rain, hit the windshield.
He took a deep breath and retracted his claws from the steering wheel.
”What. A. Bad. Driver,” said Chris, riding shotgun. He shifted his weight, a twenty-pound gray and white bouncer of a cat.
“Exactly.”
”Your rapid response time was purrfect, Jasper Kitten,” said Star from her carrier in the back. “I wasn’t worried at all about getting sideswiped or rear ending that Bad Driver,” she asserted with her Senior Chihuahua can do attitude.
”Still, it’s best that both of you are wearing your seatbelts. Safety is paramount.” He tapped the steering wheel with a white gloved paw.
Jasper Kitten started to accelerate again as the Big Rig blasted ahead of them and rounded a curve on the road, disappearing out of sight.
“If my instincts serve me correctly,” said Jasper, “I’ll let that Big Rig go.”
The windshield wipers cleared the last of the road spray, keeping a steady rhythm against the rain. They drove on as the gap narrowed between their long drive, after visiting littermates in the Southlands, and the comforts of their furever home deep in the Wooded Valley.
”We’ll get to the Condo in about an hour,” said Chris, checking the GPS.
”Great, and preferably in one piece,” replied Jasper.
They rode in silence under a leaden sky, the final miles on their journey ticking by, as Jasper Kitten steered their course.
They turned into the main drive. With a pink toe bean, Chris tapped the garage remote and Jasper pulled in. Each of them unfastened their seatbelts with a simultaneous click. Star opened her carrier door and hopped out.
Striding into the Condo, Jasper and Chris checked their perimeters. They nodded to each other, surrounded by the comforts of home and scratched the pair of winged back chairs next to the fireplace.
“There’s no place like home,” they sighed.
Star gathered up the mail, scattered on the floor by the door slot.
“Let’s have drinks on the Catio,” said Chris. “It’s always nice to relax after a long drive.”
”I’m already there,” smiled Jasper as he stretched out his Orange tabby body on the couch. A cool breeze filtered through the screens.
Star sorted through the mail.
”Oh, look, Jasper Kitten,” she said, “a Priority Envelope has been delivered to you.” She held the large piece above the stack with her cinnamon brown paws.
”I see,” he said, angling his head toward her.
”Yes, it looks quite professional. It’s addressed to J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency. Would you like me to open open it for you? I can tear it with my teeth.”
”Thank you, Star, but there’s no need to exert yourself after a long roadtrip.”
She handed the envelope to him and he gave it a quick slice with his claw. He pulled out a thick portfolio and set it on the coffee table.
”Gosh,” he exclaimed.
”What. What is it?” asked Chris.
”It’s most curious. It’s a treatise on animal magnetism.”
”Who would send you something like that?” asked Star.
”It’s anonymous. There’s no identifying name associated with it. Star, did you see a return address on the envelope?” Jasper turned it over with his white gloved paws.
”Nope. Only a postmark from San Francisco.”
”Jasper Kitten, your reputation as an Ace Detective knows no bounds,” said Chris as he set a tray of ginger ale on the coffee table.
”I have a feeling you’re right about that, Chris. It does seem like word has gotten out,” replied Jasper.
After solving both the mystery of a dinner disappearance in The Case of the Purloined Pot Roast, followed in quick succession with an identity theft in The Case of the Clandestine Orange Cat Collar, Jasper Kitten’s sleuthing abilities had achieved global renown.
In a flash of insight, driven both by his incredible intelligence and natural instincts, Jasper Kitten had proven himself as a sleuth beyond compare in the animal kingdom.
Now, as he sat up on the couch, clasping the Priority Envelope, a small slip of paper fell out and drifted onto the Catio floor.
”What. Is. That?” Chris gave a quizzical look as the paper fluttered in the breeze.
”Gosh, Jasper Kitten, what is that?” Star sniffed at the floor.
Jasper held the paper and said, “Chris and Star, this is a Haiku. A form of poetry from Japan. It has three lines in a formal pattern of five syllables then seven syllables then five syllables. The end.”
He tapped a toe bean on each line for emphasis. Then, he read the poem outloud.
”Bright shiny objects
Animal magnetism
Slam on the brakes hard”
They each gave a slight gasp.
”Has someone been…” Chris let his voice trail off as light flashed in Star’s eyes.
”How would someone, anyone, know about slamming on the brakes?” Star asked.
”Someone, anyone,” Jasper replied, “would only know if they had been watching us.”
”Did they plan to run us off the road?” asked Chris.
”That’s a good question,” said Jasper, his gaze fixed on the distance.
”Jasper Kitten,” said Star. “That is no poem.”
”Then what is it?”
”It’s a warning.”
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Critter Post Script
Jasper: Critters, thank you for reading our First Chapter! We hope you have enjoyed the ride!
Chris: Please, stay tuned for further episodes in the near future as the mystery continues to unfold!
Star: So, we’ll see you next time! Until then, stay safe, keep shining and have fun out there!
Jasper: Oh! And don’t forget to bring your magnifying glass! The End.
I speak with animals purrfectly and resonate with Heidi! Wildlands “head bumps” Conversations with Critters!
This was a great read CwC crew! I am looking forward to chapter 2! I especially like the description of Jasper retracting his claws from the steering wheel. Haha, excellent imagery!