Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 3 from The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!
Today, Critters, we pick up where we left off and it’s not a moment too soon! Previously, Chris found himself in a secret dark place, clinging to a library bookcase ladder. Now, will Star be able to reverse engineer a secret mechanism hidden in an old world globe? Will Chris hold on long enough for the rotating bookcase to bring him back to the rest of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency?
Please, let’s read all about what will happen next! We welcome our Core Community Critters, Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent laddered critter commentary and conversation. Take it away!
Jasper: Welcome welcome back, Critters! We have an incredible cliffhanger of a conundrum to resolve and solve in Chapter 3!
Chris: That’s right, Jasper! In fact, this work of fiction feels so real to me, it’s time to get me outta here!
Jojo: We’ve got your back, Chris! So, let’s take a spin and read all about it!
THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT
BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 3
SPIN
The light flashed in Star's eyes, witnessing the full rotation of the bookcase and the disappearance of Chris. She sprang into immediate action.
“Chris!” she cried in disbelief. “Chris! I’ve got this! Hang on to that ladder!”
The faintest of growls, yet loud and proud, resonated from behind the bookcase. Star struck the globe with a cinnamon brown paw and stopped it from spinning, but the wall did not budge.
“Star,” cried Jasper Kitten. “You have stopped the globe from spinning on its axis at the exact location of England!”
“What are the geographic odds!” barked Jojo.
“It’s a mere coincidence,” she confirmed. “I gave the globe a spin in a counterclockwise direction according to the natural rotation of the Planet Earth and the next thing I knew, Chris disappeared behind the rotating bookcase! This library is rigged!”
And with that said, she spun the globe in the opposite direction with the full force of her Senior Chihuahua can do attitude and pound-per-pound strength.
The globe turned and turned, spinning around and around, and the wall rotated back into position.
“Gosh, what a turn around, Chris!” she barked as the globe slowed and came to a stop. “I’m so relieved that I figured out how to get you back from that disappearing act.”
“Thank you, Star. It’s good to be back,” he said, releasing the grip of his toebeans from the ladder. He jumped down in a single rapid leap, sticking his landing. “That was a full three-sixty, my friends.”
“Gosh and oh my goodness, are you o’kay, Chris? I’m so sorry about that,” cried Star. “I had no clue that you would vanish.”
Jasper Kitten, Star and Jojo constellated around Chris.
“I’m A-okay. The way the bookcase moved, I could practically feel the Earth shift on its axis. You have made a most unexpected discovery, Star,” he praised her.
“Gosh,” she adjusted her reading glasses. “Is it my imagination or does this bookcase look the same from both sides?”
“Your point is well taken, Star,” replied Jasper Kitten. “Both sides of the bookcase are like mirror images of one another. If my instincts serve me correctly, both sides are, in fact, identical.”
“That means…,” said Star.
”Are you saying…,” said Jojo.
”Yes. You are correct. There is a double set of first editions in this bookcase.”
”Jasper Kitten, what does it mean?” asked Chris.
“I’m not sure yet. Chris, could you see anything when you were on the other side?”
“It was too dark, Jasper Kitten, but it sure felt cold and drafty in there. My eyes didn’t have enough time to adjust before Star, with her quick can do attitude, found a way to get me outta there.”
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “That is also important and revealing. The cold and drafty air could indicate an underground secret passageway with access to the outdoors.”
“Or a lack of central heat,” added Jojo, “you know, these old houses are notorious for that.”
“Yes, thank you, Jojo, that is a practical point well taken,” agreed Jasper Kitten. “We now know how to access this hidden part of the library, if not the Manor House itself. I would like to seek further confirmation of this initial investigative lead. This calls for utilizing my headlamp and more detective time than I estimate we currently have. The Tea is about to be served.”
“Well, we gotta eat,” said Chris, “it’s been hours since that transatlantic meal when I was in the Middle Seat in Coach. We still have a supply of the kibble that I packed from home, plus an abundance of snacks in reserve, so let’s see if this place runs on time. I. Am. Famished.”
“It is almost 5 o’clock, the Butler should be back to fetch us any minute,” barked Jojo.
“Critters, let us remain calm and carry on. I do not wish to further alarm Lord Archibald,” said Jasper Kitten.
”Otherwise,” considered Chris, “any speculation on our part could spook his jumpy Lordship.”
“Yes and that could prove to be quite unproductive so soon upon our arrival,” commented Jasper Kitten.
“Agreed,” chorused Chris, Star and Jojo.
“Please. Proceed.” Jasper Kitten strode toward a stack of books.
They returned to their perusal of the library until the grandfather clock struck the five o’clock hour.
“Please, follow me to the Tea Room,” said the Butler, appearing punctually in the doorway.
The Critter Detectives set down the first edition books and the brochures from the previous years of the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society.
Star removed her reading glasses and passed them to Jasper Kitten. He placed them back in the Attache Case and made a quick security check of the light blue Airmail letter tucked inside and ran a toebean across the band of the headlamp, eager to return to it and the hidden recesses of the library.
Jasper Kitten picked up the Attache Case and they padded out of the room, down the hallway and deeper into the Manor House. The Butler led them into a spacious room with a round table and a full spread of kibble scones and tea placed on top of a Lazy Susan.
A fireplace crackled and warmed the room against the chill that began to descend in the early English evening.
“Please, be seated,” said the Butler. “I must attend to Lord Archibald and will return with his Lordship shortly.”
They hopped into the chairs and picked up their spoons. Jasper Kitten set down the Attache Case, safe and secure next to his chair.
“Perhaps the custom is to wait for the Lord of the Manor,” mewed Jasper Kitten, his spoon suspended over his bowl.
“Perhaps it is time to break with tradition,” said Chris. “Star, would you like to spin the Lazy Susan and pass me a kibble scone?”
“Gosh, Chris, I would do that not only at your peril but mine as well,” she replied.
“I promise not to disappear,” he purred.
“In that case, I would be happy to oblige,” and she gave the Lazy Susan a spin with a cinnamon brown paw.
Chris dropped to the ground and vanished under the table.
“Chris!” Star let out a shocked bark.
“Just kidding,” he popped back up and reached out a toebean for the kibble scone.
The Critters shook with laughter and then resumed a serious and studious manner as they heard footsteps approaching the Tea Room.
“Oh, Jasper Kitten, I’ve received yet another threat!” cried Archibald, crossing the threshold.
“Lord Archibald, I do not mean to respond in a presumptive manner, but it may be in the best interest of all involved to consider postponing the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society for the sake of personal safety.”
“Jasper Kitten,” responded Archibald, “I simply must vigorously beg to differ. A postponement would bring disgrace upon the Purrington-Smith name.”
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten.
“Yes. Actually,” replied Archibald.
“Lord Archibald, how was this most recent threat communicated to you?” queried Jasper Kitten, detecting the stifled but subtle fear in their Client’s voice.
“Through the email of The Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society like all of the other threats,” confirmed Archibald.
”I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “And was this cc’d or forwarded to your personal Lord Archibald Purrington-Smith email, too?”
”No and I double checked,” replied Archibald.
”I am glad that you were so thorough in your reading and review of this email sent as Official Business, Lord Archibald, as this is most helpful to the investigation,” said Jasper Kitten.
”Thank you, Jasper Kitten. I simply cannot be too careful, but I wanted to give you this full disclosure and behave as completely and compliantly as a Client as I possibly can,” cried Archibald.
”We are most impressed and appreciative of your efforts. You have done very well. Now. One further question,” continued Jasper Kitten.
”I’m all ears, Jasper Kitten,” blinked Archibald.
”Did this eminent and imminent threat of an email go to the inbox or to the promotions box? Or even, furthermore, to the junk box?” questioned Jasper Kitten.
“It was received in the inbox, Jasper Kitten,” confirmed Archibald.
”Thank you. This is most definitive and what I would consider a direct hit coming from a keyboard,” Jasper Kitten swatted the air with a white gloved paw.
”Oh! I’m terribly worried!” flinched Archibald.
”Lord Archibald, fear not. Chris is our expert digital detective and quite adept at the forensics of electronic communications. Threatening emails fall well within the purview of his computer science skill set,” reassured Jasper Kitten.
”I extend my most sincere and humble gratitude to all of you. Surely, there is no finer or better equipped detective agency in the entire world to help the Purrington Estate,” bowed Archibald.
“We will conduct a thorough investigative sweep of the isp address from which this felonious email was sent and determine all digital pawprints and toebean markers involved,” commanded Chris, downing a kibble scone.
Chris then popped another kibble scone in his mouth with a furtive glance at Jasper Kitten.
”You may of course finish your tea, Chris. Please. Proceed,” advised Jasper Kitten with a furrowed brow.
Chris fiddled with his spoon and tapped a toebean on the Lazy Susan, absorbed deep in digital thoughts.
”Lord Archibald, do you have a desktop or a laptop?” asked Chris.
”I have both a desktop and a laptop,” he replied.
“Very well,” Chris responded, “please, would you mind bringing the laptop here to the Tea Room? I have confirmed on my phone that the Wi-Fi signal is most excellent.”
”Yes, of course, Chris. I will have my Butler, Sebastian, fetch it at once. I do rather pride myself in having the most current technology at the Manor House. You will find that we have high speed internet throughout the premises,” Archibald snapped his toebeans.
The Butler exited the room and returned in record time with the laptop.
Chris pushed his bowl to the side and opened the device. He tapped in a series of questions and codes with his toebeans and scrolled through the data. A long silence followed as he stared at the screen and then he swallowed hard.
”What is it, Chris?” prompted Jasper Kitten.
”The isp address of the sender has been highly encrypted. No sign of spyware or other tampering detected,” he said, scrolling. “But. However. I have hacked into the physical location location location and it is coming from right here at the Manor House.”
“What about another device from a Critter in the area synching with the Purrington Estate Wi-Fi?” questioned Jojo. “Couldn’t that explain it?”
”That’s a good question, Jojo, but I’m afraid not. Why, there’s no digital forensic evidence of it in the meta data,” growled Chris, low and slow. He continued to scroll. “In fact, all of the email threats originate at the Manor House.”
Archibald’s British Shorthair Blue Coat Pattern turned ashen and he blinked and flinched. He stumbled to a seat at the table and sat down hard next to Jasper Kitten.
“Mr. Lord of the Manor,” barked Star, “are you all right?”
Jasper Kitten steadied Archibald with a white gloved paw. Jojo poured a spot of tea, set the cup on the Lazy Susan, and passed it over to Archibald who took a shaky sip.
“That is not possible. Only the Butler and I live here at Purrington. We have no other staff, I have financially not been able to employ anyone for a very long time,” his whiskers quivered as he set his teacup down.
“Mr. Lord of the Manor, how long would you estimate, either in dog years or in cat years, it has been since you employed a larger staff?” inquired Star.
“At least, seven years,” he calculated.
“Lord Archibald, have any other visitors come here today?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“No, Jasper Kitten, not until your arrival with the entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.”
“What about deliveries, including the post?” probed Jasper Kitten.
“Nothing so far this week, Jasper Kitten,” Archibald calmed himself with another sip of tea.
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten.
“This completely mystifies me! I am baffled!” cried Archibald. “I am flummoxed, I tell you! Who could have sent this email? Who would want to threaten me or my guests of the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society? I implore you, Jasper Kitten! I beseech you and the entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency to crack this case!”
“Lord Archibald, I must ask you again. Are you sure that there is no one else at the Manor House who could have sent this threatening email?”
“Absolutely not, Jasper Kitten. I give you my word and the word of a Purrington-Smith is his bond. Furthermore, of the two of us who live here, I am the only computer enabled cat.”
“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “So, are you saying it is not possible that the Butler did it?”
The question hung in the air as Archibald slumped forward in his chair and collapsed.
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
Turn this thing around
Reverse engineer the globe
Get me outta here
By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo
Haha! A wonderful Butler joke at the end there. I'm luvluvluving this tale of an old manor house full of secrets... 😎
Wonderful Heidi! Is someone hiding out in the manor house I ask myself? I can't believe it's Sebastion, he's been such a trusty retainer for years ha ha.
---
World spins on axis
In the quaint land of the Brits
Its time for high tea
An English cuppa
Is the ultimate cure all
Question the butler!
---