Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 4 of The Case of the Jumping Gene!
Today Critters, we are putting out fires as the plot heats up up up for the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency! We present to you the highly anticipated release of Chapter 4 of The Case of the Jumping Gene!
Previously! Our intrepid Detectives were in hot pursuit of a most suspicious Critter. Not to be deterred, our heroes have gone down a laundry chute, the only means of escape, all the way to the lowest and innermost level of the Bio Lab, also known in the vernacular as the basement.
Now! Faced with a fiery conflagration, how will they ever be able to proceed? Please, welcome our Core Community Critters, Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent explosive commentary and conversation! Take. It. Away!
Jasper: Welcome, Friends! We do have one spoiler alert for today’s episode among many developments and all things Orange.
Chris: Why, it’s true, Critters.
Jojo: Cuz, Chris is about to be rendered speechless.
Jasper: So, let’s read all about it!
THE CASE OF THE JUMPING GENE
BOOK 3 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 4
HOT MESS
“Fire!” cried Jasper Kitten.
The Orange flames radiated heat within a hair’s breadth of their individual and collective whiskers and the Critter Detectives leapt back from the singe and the sting of it.
Jojo and Star sprinted back to the laundry basket. They grabbed the fire safety blankets and then, in a seamless tandem transition with their toebeans, smothered the flames. The test tube melted onto the floor, a puddle of molten glass.
“Thank you, Canine Unit!” exclaimed Jasper Kitten. “You have contained and extinguished the flames with a singular instinctive reflexive maneuver!”
“We are at your service, Jasper Kitten,” replied Jojo.
“Ditto,” agreed Star.
“Jasper Kitten,” barked Jojo, “as a lifelong first responder, I must express my concerns that we have now encountered not one but two fires inside the Bio Lab Pacific Northwest By Northwest and, quite frankly, we just got here.”
“Thank you for your candor, Jojo,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “I, too, share your concerns about the incident rate of the fires.”
“You’re welcome, Jasper Kitten,” responded Jojo.
“Furthermore,” continued Jasper Kitten, “I must make it perfectly clear, by way of introduction to the Experimental Experimenter if and only if they happen to be within earshot as we now speak, that the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency does not play games.”
“Why, we don’t scare easy either,” growled Chris, loud and proud.
The Canine Unit shook out the soot from the fire safety blankets and inspected them thoroughly for any residual embers. A small object fell onto the floor with a clink and a plink as it bounced on the floor and came to rest by Star’s cinnamon brown paw. She knelt to pick it up.
“Gosh, it’s the penny that you took out of your pocket and dropped down the laundry chute to determine the amount of padding in the laundry basket, Jasper Kitten,” barked Star.
She held the penny toward Jasper Kitten. He put it back in his pocket when a blur of Orange fur scurried across their line of sight and hid in the shadows. Jasper Kitten raced and chased after the movement and tackled the unknown Critter.
“Who are you and who do you work for!” he cried, the Critter immobilized beneath him.
A muffled mew came in response.
“I. Can’t. Hear. You,” replied Jasper Kitten in measured words, yanking the Critter up. “Be glad that I didn’t send in my Canine Unit or my Serval Officers. Perhaps you’ve heard of them.”
“Please, I beg of you,” came the hushed reply. “It’s not safe for me to be out in the open, Jasper Kitten.”
“Why, it’s a cat as Orange as you, Jasper Kitten,” growled Chris, loud and proud and ready to pounce.
“Gosh and oh my goodness, this Critter is practically a mirror image of you, Jasper Kitten!” barked Star.
“Yes, I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten.
“Answer Jasper Kitten’s question,” ordered Jojo. “Who are you and who do you work for?”
“They call me Rufus Sub One,” came the muffled reply.
“Rufus Sub One, you’ve got some explaining to do and please speak up,” instructed Jasper Kitten.
“Fur sure, Jasper Kitten,” her voice rose a decibel, her eyes downcast.
“I understand the clandestine necessity of your situation. But. Who do you work for?” demanded Jasper Kitten again.
“Jasper Kitten, please, you’ve got to understand. I am not an employee,” she looked up at him.
“Are you a subcontractor? Is that the reason for your name as Rufus Sub One?” he probed.
“Please, Jasper Kitten, I have no working relationship with anyone here, although I’ve heard rumors among the Bio Lab Staff that employment definitions have gotten quite complicated with their classifications,” she mewed in a soft tone.
“I see your point in terms of HR,” he replied. “However. It stands to reason that you have set two fires since the arrival of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency which we must logically interpret as a threat to our presence. Furthermore. You have evaded us by going down the laundry chute and hiding in the shadows of the Bio Lab Basement Level.”
“Yes, Jasper Kitten,” she agreed. “The fires were my mistake and come with my sincere apologies for the chemical conflagration.”
“Why, is she saying…,” growled Chris, low and slow.
“Gosh, does she mean…,” barked Star.
“Correct, Chris and Star,” confirmed Jasper Kitten. “Rufus Sub One is telling us that she means us no harm in spite of wreaking havoc in the Bio Lab.”
The Detectives relaxed their guard while maintaining full situational awareness of their basement level surroundings.
“That’s right, Jasper Kitten,” said Rufus Sub One, her voice growing in strength. “I desperately need your help. I beseech you, the world renowned J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency! That’s why I sent you the Biohazard Envelope and all of the clues! Cuz every time I get close to reverse engineering a terrible experiment that turned me and the Ginormous Group completely and totally Orange, well, something goes wrong!”
“Rufus Sub One,” said Jasper Kitten, “is there somewhere more comfortable and private where we may have a thorough discussion?”
“Jasper Kitten. I. Can. Explain. Everything,” she replied. “But nothing in this building is comfortable.”
“So, there are no creature comforts anywhere in the Bio Lab?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“No. Nothing,” confirmed Rufus Sub One.
“We’re all ears, Rufus Sub One,” he said with a nod of his furrowed Orange striped brow.
“Follow me, please,” said Rufus Sub One, leading them to a small antechamber with a row of plastic chairs and empty cages.
The Critter Detectives pulled the chairs into a semicircle and hopped onto them, intent and fully focused on the intel about to be gathered from Rufus Sub One. She stood before them, her paws clasped and grasped a large test tube filled with an Orange liquid, and she gave the Critter Detectives her most sincere assurances that she would not put them at further risk of fire.
“You see,” she began, “I am getting close to reverse engineering a terrible experiment that turned not only myself but the whole Ginormous Group into the same shade of Orange. But, something goes wrong every time I run the test!” exclaimed Rufus Sub One.
“Is that why glass shatters and metal clatters and things burst into Orange flames?” pressed Jasper Kitten.
“Yes!” cried Rufus Sub One. “The Scientific Method has me completely flummoxed and, I’m ashamed to say, I keep having lab accidents.”
“Who did this to you? Who is the real Experimental Experimenter? And where are they?” questioned Jasper Kitten.
“I don’t know, I don’t know,” she cried. “They work as a team, but they’ve always been dressed in Tyvek Suits and dark safety glasses and they wear gloves and booties too.”
“I see, Rufus Sub One,” replied Jasper Kitten. “This makes the detection of their true identity much more difficult. But. Not. Impossible.”
She looked at him with a hopeful gaze and their eyes locked.
“Rufus Sub One, I must ask you a question of a rather personal but also paradoxical impersonal nature for investigative purposes,” continued Jasper Kitten.
She watched him with great expectation and he held her gaze steady, reassuring, calming.
“Are you a clone?”
“Oh! No! Jasper Kitten, they’ve inserted a gene into us and now we’re all Orange,” she cried. “That’s why we all look the same and they’ve given us numbers not names! We’re all a Rufus Subset from One up to Ninety-Nine!”
“You mean, you have all been genetically modified with the Arhgap36 gene and its associated DNA mutation in your X chromosomes? The specific genetic mode and code for an Orange Cat?” he inquired.
“Correct, Jasper Kitten,” affirmed Rufus Sub One. “The Arhgap36 gene is associated with a nearby genetic mutation, a small deletion of DNA. This mutation increases the activity of Arhgap 36 in pigment cells and turns us Orange.”
“What an unethical biomedical manipulation of a natural process,” he mewed. “In domestic cats, the Arhgap36 gene is X-linked. Generally, females have two X chromosomes. XX. Males have one X and one Y. XY. ”
“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, isn’t this kind of a complicated melanocyte metabolic pathway for hair color in domestic cats?” queried Star with her cinnamon brown paws spread wide.
“Yes, Star, in domestic cats specifically, a female cat must have the Orange gene on both of her X chromosomes, so she will have a lower Orange occurrence than a male cat who only has one X chromosome. Do you see the odds?”
“Of course, Jasper Kitten,” nodded Star in the affirmative. “It’s much more likely for a male cat to have an Orange occurrence, statistically speaking.”
“Yes. A female cat has a special genetic process known as random X inactivation. That means, one of the two X chromosomes is inactivated in each cell. So, she is much more likely to express a mosaic of colors, of Orange mixed in with white and black. Therefore, we see the Tortoiseshell and Calico coats in females much more often than the singular incredible Orange,” detailed Jasper Kitten.
“Why, I can’t help but recall the Calico British Shorthair, Dame Cleopatra, from cracking our last case across the pond in England,” Chris reminisced.
“Correct, Chris,” agreed Jasper Kitten. “Dame Cleopatra is an excellent example of a natural Calico coat.”
“That’s why I reached out to you for help, Jasper Kitten,” said Rufus Sub One. Your world renown with your case at the English Manor House involved a Calico and I just knew that you and your Detectives could help me with my Ginormous Group genetics and rescue.”
“Thank you, Rufus Sub One. We are truly honored. For the record, do you know your own original and natural coat color?” asked Jasper Kitten. “I realize this is a question of a rather sensitive nature.”
“I’m a Tuxedo,” she said quietly, her eyes downcast again.
“This is quite a formal coat pattern indeed. Thank you for sharing your natural history with us, Rufus Sub One.”
“You’re welcome, Jasper Kitten.”
“Do you have a real name?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“No, I was born here at the Bio Lab and have only been known as Rufus Sub One,” she looked down and lapsed into silence.
“Rufus Sub One, if you could have a name not a number do you know what you would like to be called?” queried Jasper Kitten.
“That’s a good question, Jasper Kitten. I’ve never thought about that before,” she looked up at him.
“I see,” he mewed. “May I suggest that you give it some thought now?”
“Yes, thank you very much, Jasper Kitten,” she mewed in return.
Jasper Kitten leaned back in the plastic chair and reflected on their last case set in such a wildly different locale at the English Manor House. He considered their arrival at London Heathrow and the questions demanded of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency as they cleared Customs. State your coat pattern.
A thought entered Jasper Kitten’s mind, of ulterior motives, of how to hide in plain sight, to look so different and yet look all the same here, there or anywhere. He gave a nod in the affirmative and studied Rufus Sub One, seeing her for who she really was beyond all appearances.
“And yes, Rufus Sub One, the success in solving The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat clearly has had consequences well beyond England. It has led us to you deep deep underground in the Cascade Mountains of all places. How were you able to make contact with us through the mail?” pondered Jasper Kitten.
“I was able to surreptitiously sneak the padded Biohazard envelope in the outgoing mail to you while the Experimental Experimenter and his staff were out to lunch.”
“And when you say, out to lunch,” probed Jasper Kitten, “where did they go?”
“I’m not sure, Jasper Kitten, but they definitely leave the premises of the Bio Lab every day for lunch and sometimes they don’t even come back until the next day.”
“Thank you for the clarification on this mealtime behavior,” replied Jasper Kitten.
“You’re welcome, Jasper Kitten. That’s where they are now,” confirmed Rufus Sub One.
“Gosh, that gives us a modicum of time and space to freely move around the Bio Lab,” barked Star.
“Yes, I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Time is of the essence, but also on our side. Temporarily. We must not be lulled into complacency. We can and we must remain vigilant and continue the investigation carefully, very carefully, until we crack it wide open. I suspect that nothing and I mean nothing, not the captive Critters, not the building, is as it seems at the Bio Lab.”
“Why, when we find who’s really behind this, I’m gonna shred ‘em even if that means that we skip our own lunch,” growled Chris, loud and proud.
“Gosh, Rufus Sub One, where do your meals come from?” asked Star.
“We’ve been trained to press a lever in our cages with our toebeans at the exact same time every morning. After we press the lever, a green light comes on. If we wait two more minutes then kibble is dispensed to us,” she said.
“But what if you can’t wait?” questioned Chris.
“Then we go hungry,” she replied.
“Why, this is a total travesty of the purpose and function of an automatic feeder. What about eating in the evening?” prompted Chris.
“We don’t eat in the evening,” sighed Rufus Sub One.
Chris swallowed hard with the news, speechless, and pressed his toebeans against the plastic chair.
“The sooner we get every Rufus Subset from One to Ninety-Nine out of the Bio Lab Pacific Northwest By Northwest, the better,” barked Jojo and hopped onto the floor.
Officers Clementine and Petal followed suit and stood at attention next to Jojo.
“Rufus Sub One, is the rest of the group in one location or scattered throughout the four levels of the Bio Lab?” queried Jasper Kitten.
“We are all confined to one cramped room of cages,” she replied. “I’m the only one who managed to escape.”
“Although this is an inhumane circumstance, it will increase our efficiency in Ginormous Group evacuation to safety,” declared Jasper Kitten.
“Thank you, Jasper Kitten. We are good to go, but can you reverse engineer these Orange colors and restore us to our natural healthy state?” asked Rufus Sub One. “It would feel only right to us as an essential part of our rescue.”
Jasper Kitten considered the comment with a long thoughtful pause and when he finally spoke, he was emphatic.
“Yes. I am ready to try an experimental procedure to inactivate your manipulated and modified X chromosomes, but we must act quickly and I must warn you, this is purely experimental and based on my own instinctive Orange knowledge.” Jasper Kitten paced back and forth.
Rufus Sub One extended a toebean to Jasper Kitten and he stopped pacing.
“Here is the necessary reagent,” she said, holding the test tube containing the Orange solution. “I have a laboratory ready to go.”
“Is this the same reagent, the same formulation that has resulted in flames igniting?” asked Jasper Kitten.
“Yes,” she replied softly.
“Thank you. This is quite risky and I will proceed with all due caution,” and he swatted the air.
The Critter Detectives conferred and concurred about the experimental set up and moved to the adjacent laboratory under the direction of Rufus Sub One. Officers Clementine and Petal took notes and collected the required equipment of test tubes, pipettes, beakers, flasks, bunsen burners, graduated cylinders and a fire extinguisher at the ready.
With the finesse and dexterity of his white gloved paws, Jasper Kitten organized the lab bench and included a set of magnifying glasses within easy reach. He shrugged into a lab coat and adjusted a pair of clear safety glasses.
“Critters, we are now prepared,” declared Jasper Kitten. “Jojo, you know what to do. We need each and every Rufus, Sub One to Ninety-Nine, to line up in an orderly fashion while I catalyze and synthesize the solution.”
“Roger that, Jasper Kitten,” he saluted and exited the lab with Rufus Sub One leading the way to the location of the Ginormous Group held in confinement. Jojo gave the paws up signal to Clementine and Petal and they accompanied him as well.
Rufus Sub One stood by until her group was freed, Sub Two through Ninety-Nine, and all of the cages were empty. They gathered round Jojo, Clementine and Petal in a warm embrace and formed an orderly line, a purr motoring in their midst.
The Ginormous Group advanced toward the lab when glass shattered and metal clattered and a cry from none other than Jasper Kitten himself echoed down the corridor.
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
Numbers but not names
Empty all of the cages
One to ninety-nine
By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Jojo
Critters! Catch up on all of the mystery and adventure with The Case of the Jumping Gene! Book Number 3! Brought to you by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency!
Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3
Critters! Catch up on all of the mystery and adventure with The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Book Number 2!
Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap.7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap. 14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20
The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope! Book Number 1!
Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap. 7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap.14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20
The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope
Critters, this is Julie Rae from the Hounds and Cats of Hound Hollow. I'm a tuxedo... I'm afraid I'll get turned into an orange cat. Orange cats are very nice... it's just that I'm a tuxedo and I'm not orange. Please solve this one... the cats at Hound Hollow are counting on you. Our hound brothers, William and Travis the Pup, are going to take turns guarding us until this mystery gets solved. Emily wants JoJo and all the Critters to stay safe. Jasper, we are praying for you!
Excellent chapter, Heidi! As always: Bravo.