Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 20 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! The End! And announcing a new beginning!

Today Critters, we are pleased to present the conclusion of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!

Previously! The Critter Detectives cracked the case and sent Tamsin Mixon-Bixon to spend the rest of her nine lives in prison. Furthermore, our Sleuths helped give a proper burial to the Bog Body of Reginald in honor of his beluvluvluved memory. And the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society bid fare thee well ‘til next year.

Please, welcome our Core Community Critters Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent endings and beginnings critter conversation. Take it away!

Jasper: Greetings Dear Gentle Critters and Dear Gentle Readers! Thank you for reading the story over the past 20 weeks with us.

Chris: We made it this far cuz of you, Friends.

Jojo: Start to finish, we luvluvluv you. The end.

Chris: And a drumroll please. Cuz…

Jasper: Critters! Coming in June! We are a hop, skip and—we really mean it when we say—a jump away from Book 3 in the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency Series!

Chris: Correct! We will be pleased to present…

Jasper: The Case of the Jumping Gene.

Jojo: So please, stay tuned.

Jasper: And now! The conclusion of…

THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT

BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY

BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER

DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR

CHAPTER 20

ROUNDTRIP

The Condo in the Wooded Valley, headquarters and home of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency, was filled with the aroma of freshly baked Kibble Scones. 

Chris tapped a pink toebean on top of each and every treat on the cooling rack in the kitchen, making sure they were ready to serve, then carried a tray into the Catio filled with the special snacks and a round of Ginger Ale. He set the laden tray down on the coffee table in front of the Couch, fluffing the pillows and cushions in preparation for the Critter Detectives to celebrate cracking their case wide open.

Jojo stayed in the kitchen and secured the Kibble Scone recipe card back in the filebox while Clementine and Petal proceeded with KP Duty. They scrubbed and rinsed and dried the mixing bowls and spoons, the baking tray and spatula, and returned them to their proper cupboards and drawers, then folded the dishrags and placed them on the counter. 

“KP Duty complete, Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” they reported with a salute.

“Excellent and at ease. We will now join Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star in the Catio for a series of celebratory toasts. It is, after all,” he saluted, “time to honor your accelerated learning curve and early graduation from Officer Training School due to your hard work and due diligence at the English Manor House.”

“Thank you very much, Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” they saluted again.

“First and foremost, as your Independent Study Instructor, I must commend you for your outstanding assistance and accomplishments in the line of duty. Please. Proceed.”

They padded over to the Catio and hopped on the Couch and were joined by Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star. 

The Critter Detectives snuggled and cuddled and stretched their toebeans after their long transatlantic journey home from across the Pond in England.

“Why, we gotta eat,” growled Chris, loud and proud. “Fortunately, Sebastian gave Jojo his recipe for Kibble Scones before we left Purrington.” 

Chris passed the Kibble Scones around and they all chowed down in a comfortable silence. The crisp Fall air, scented with woodsmoke and baked goods, filtered through the Catio while they took a breather on the Couch.

Jasper Kitten lifted a glass of Ginger Ale and the Detectives did the same.

“I would like to propose a toast!” he cried.

“Here! Here!” they cheered. “Toast! Toast!”

“Critters! It is with deep deep appreciation that I make a toast to solving the case at the Purrington Estate!” Jasper Kitten took a sip of Ginger Ale as more cheers broke out in the Catio.

He held up a white gloved paw.

“Furthermore!” he continued. “It is with great pride and gratitude that I announce the accelerated learning curve and early graduation of our Cadets Clementine and Petal from Officer Training School!”

“Here! Here!” they cried.

Chris slapped the backs of Clementine and Petal with both sets of his front toebeans. They coughed into their glasses of Ginger Ale and then gave broad smiles and saluted.

“Cadets Clementine and Petal,” announced Jasper Kitten. “I commend you for your invaluable contribution toward solving The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat. You have served the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency with honor and distinction and are now promoted to the rank of Officer!”

The Critter Detectives raised their glasses and took another drink of Ginger Ale.

“Gosh and your parents, Cecil and Rose on the Savannah, must be super duper proud of you, too!” commended Star.

“Thank you, Star,” saluted Clementine and Petal. “We texted them a selfie with our Certificates and Degrees.”

Chris filled their glasses for another round.

“Gosh, our Ginger Ale here at the Condo sure doesn’t seem to have the same intoxicating effect like the Ginger Ale in England had on Dame Cleopatra,” surmised Star, the light flashing in her eyes.

“I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten.

He scratched his Orange striped brow and contemplated the composition of the Ginger Ale, noting the degree of carbonation and the clarity of the liquid in the glass. 

“What do you think it is, Jasper Kitten?” asked Star, a pint clasped in her cinnamon brown paws.

“If my instincts serve me correctly, there must be something in the water in England which results in a, shall we say, different and inebriating effect,” apprised Jasper Kitten. 

Chris drained his glass and hopped off the Couch. 

“Officers Clementine and Petal, speaking of your Certificates and Degrees, let’s put those up on the wall!” he growled, loud and proud.

He fetched his toolbox from the utility closet in the hall and with the full finesse and dexterity of his DIY handyman skills, hammered the nails into the wall and helped the Servals place a grand total of four picture frames on prominent display above the fireplace.

Clementine and Petal climbed onto the step stool, which Chris had set up for them, and straightened their Official Officer Degrees and their Cadet Certificates of Honor for Rescue of A Big Group of British Shorthairs on Ancient and Ancestral Grounds. Satisfied with the alignment and positioning, they climbed back down and hopped into the wingback chairs. 

Jasper Kitten, Star and Jojo strode over to admire their achievements while Chris stoked the fire that flared and danced and radiated warmth.

The Canine Unit, detecting the distant motor of the mail truck and a second unidentified delivery vehicle, went on high alert. They turned on their heels and headed in a direct focused line to the front door. Star lifted the flap on the mail slot and peered through it. 

“Gosh and oh my goodness!” she cried and slammed the flap back down. 

Jojo also lifted the flap and slammed it back down. He turned to face Star.

“Gosh and oh my goodness, Jojo! After we solved our previous mystery, The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope, we got one big canvas mailbag. Meanwhile, now that we’re back home from the English Manor House across the transatlantic Pond, we’ve received not one but two big canvas mailbags!” cried Star.

“Your counting and accounting of the increase is spot on, Star. Furthermore,” bark bark barked Jojo, “Jasper Kitten’s lost luggage from London Heathrow has also been delivered!”

They pulled the front door open wide and hefted and heaved the delivery inside.

“Word is really getting around!” exclaimed Star as she sifted through the mail. “All of the envelopes are professionally addressed to the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency!”

She continued to sort through the two big canvas mailbags while Jojo, in a coordinated division of their labor, wheeled Jasper Kitten’s suitcase to the Orange Striped Sleuth.

“Jasper Kitten,” barked Jojo, “your lost luggage from London Heathrow has arrived. It appears to be in good condition with no apparent or obvious signs of tampering. The zipper is A-okay plus the originating airport LHR code sticker is also firmly affixed.”

“Thank you, Jojo,” mewed Jasper Kitten and took positive control of the suitcase handle.

“You’re welcome,” said Jojo and returned to assist Star in her efforts to sort through the mail.

“LHR,” mewed Jasper Kitten. He removed the airport sticker and unzipped his suitcase.

“Why, you can finally unpack from our transatlantic trip,” commented Chris. “There’s no place like home, Jasper Kitten.”

“Correct, Chris,” agreed Jasper Kitten as he open open opened his suitcase.

He removed his cat’s pyjamas and set them aside and there, nestled in his belongings, rested the Bowler Hat that he had first found upon their arrival in London, in the hustle and the bustle as they exited Heathrow, the hat crushed in the road after a brisk British Shorthair had brushed past him, hopped into a Black Cab and been whisked away.

Jasper Kitten held the smashed Bowler Hat in his white gloved paws, gave it one more dusting off, and carried it to the utility closet. He placed it on a shelf next to the Attache Case, the set of backup magnifying glasses and the headlamp, and the light blue Airmail envelope, Lord Archibald’s initial and original request for help addressed Urgent, Personal, and of the Utmost Immediate Importance, a request asked and answered by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.

He gave a nod in the affirmative with his Orange striped brow and swatted the air, closing the utility closet door with a soft click.

Star remained intent on sorting through the two big canvas mail bags and pulled out a particular piece with her cinnamon brown paws. Her eyes grew wide behind the rims of her reading glasses.

“Gosh! Jasper Kitten!” barked Star.

“What is it, Star?” asked Jasper Kitten, settled back on the Couch in the Catio.

“It’s a particular piece of mail, Jasper Kitten!” she called.

“I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten, hopping off the Couch, alert but not yet alarmed. “Is it a Priority Envelope?”

“No, Jasper Kitten. It’s a Biohazard Envelope and it’s…it’s padded!” barked Star, adjusting her reading glasses.

“Critters! Move as far back from the two big canvas mailbags as possible!” cried Jasper Kitten. “Gather at once in the Catio for proper ventilation and the lessening of any and all risks to our oxygen saturation levels! Safety is paramount with a Biohazard symbol involved!” 

They hopped to it and conferred and concurred in the Catio.

“Star, the envelope please,” instructed Jasper Kitten.

From Star’s cinnamon brown paw to Jasper Kitten’s white gloved paw, the Biohazard envelope was transferred carefully. Very. Very. Carefully.

The Critter Detectives inhaled while Jasper Kitten patted the padded envelope and identified the position of the perforated pull tab. He tugged on it and slowly slowly pulled the tab across the seam. Silence engulfed them. They dared not exhale all the way out.

Jasper Kitten furrowed his brow and emptied the contents of the envelope into his waiting white gloved paw. A single test tube fell out and he clasped and grasped it. 

“This is most serious,” he mewed. “But I do not detect anything hazardous to our health. Donning Tyvek suits at this time, therefore, will not be necessary.”

The Critters proceeded, individually and collectively, to exhale. All. The. Way. Out.

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, the test tube contains what appears to be an inert piece of paper,” squinted Star.

“Yes, I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten. He pried the red stopper from the test tube and, out of an abundance of caution, drew the paper out with a toebean and not a retractable claw lest he cause a tear in the stashed message.

He unrolled the small scroll. A look passed between all of them, but no one moved, not a whisker here, not a whisker there. 

“Ginormous. Group. SOS!” Jasper Kitten read out loud. He turned the paper over.

Chris and Star, Jojo and Clementine and Petal all leaned in toward Jasper Kitten and a drawing of none other than an intricate maze. 

THE END

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Poetry with Pets

Coming up in June!

The Case of the Jumping Gene

Please stay tuned, Critters…

By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Jojo

Thank you for reading luvluvluv Jasper Kitten, Chris, Jojo and Star in Heaven Furever and Ever

Critters! Catch up on all of the mystery and adventure with The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Book Number 2!

Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap.7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap. 14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19

Furthermore!

The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope! The Complete Book Number 1!

Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap. 7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap.14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20

(Coming soon to IngramSpark, too!)

The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope