Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 12 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!

Mar 25, 2025

Today, Critters, we are pleased to present the highly anticipated release of Chapter 12 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Brought to you as always and furever and ever by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency! Because! It’s time for our Detective Tuesday Post! Hip Hip Hooray!

Previously! We left off with a critical problemo at lunch and consequently mealtime may never be the same again at the Manor House. Will our Critter Detectives avert an even greater crisis than what has already befallen the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society? And where oh where is the Calico?

Please, join our Core Community Critters Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo is excellent what will happen next critter commentary and conversation. Take. It. Away!

Jasper: Hello, Friends and welcome to Chapter 12! And dare I use the word W-A-T-E-R!

Chris: Thank you for the correct spelling without saying it out loud, Jasper. Thank you very much.

Jasper: You’re welcome!

Jojo: Dear Gentle Critters and Dear Gentle Readers, we remain calm and we are ready and set to carry on, so here we go go go!

THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT
BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 12
HOSED

Archibald swooned, but did not faint as Jojo and Star caught him at the head of the banquet table. Jasper Kitten and Chris pounced through the rising waters in defiance of their feline natures.

The guests froze at the sight of the Canine Unit and the white tipped tail of Mallory Southlands-West puffed up up up until Jasper Kitten vaulted onto the table and landed right next to her.

“Are you Jasper Kitten?” she yowled. “The world renowned Critter Detective!”

“Yes, I am Jasper Kitten,” he assured her and the rest of the guests who stared at him wild eyed.

“Oh, thank goodness you are here, Jasper Kitten!” they chorused, stepping toward him through the spilled Purrington pudding and crowding around him. “Your reputation precedes you even when you’re wet!”

“Please, allow me to introduce my colleague, Chris,” mewed Jasper Kitten as Chris stuck his landing on the banquet table next to the Orange Striped Sleuth.

“Why, you British Blue Shorthairs have nothing to fear. Believe. You. Me,” growled Chris, loud and proud. “And trust me when I say, the Canine Unit is here. At. Your. Service.”

“We. Believe. You!” they cried. “Oh our thanks to the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency and not a moment too soon!”

A ping went off and Chris checked his phone. A text message from Cadets Clementine and Petal lit up the screen.

“We hear a lot of running water. Permission for one of us to investigate.”

Chris caught Jojo’s attention and held the phone out for him to see.

“Thank you, Chris,” barked Jojo. “Permission is granted.”

Chris tap tapped on the screen and waited for the reply.

“Roger that!”

Meanwhile, back in the Situation Room, Cadet Clementine followed the rushing and gushing sound of the water with her highly acute auditory senses, the horizontal white line on the back of her ears elevated and attuned to their keenest level.

Petal stood in the doorway and watched her sister depart.

“You’ve got this, Clementine!” she cried. “I salute you!”

“I salute you too, Petal!” she called back, rounding the corner of the Manor House.

She spied a faucet up ahead with a big hose attached and raced toward it. Clementine cranked the faucet to the right and shut it off. She disconnected the hose from the faucet out of an abundance of caution and then followed the line. She found it inserted into the wall through a small vent.

“Disconnected hose,” she texted to Chris. “Looks like someone accessed an exterior vent in the wall of the Manor House and ran the hose inside.”

“Water stopped here. Good job, Cadet Clementine!” he tap tapped back.

The yowling of the guests receded with the water that drained from the room through the floorboards. Archibald gave a deep deep sigh in his chair and maintained his composure.

“Thank you, Sebastian, the smelling salts will not be necessary,” he said.

Sebastian bowed to Archibald and began to wipe down the table, careful to work around the toebeans of the guests who continued to dance and prance around the splattered pudding, shattered glass and broken crockery.

“Please, my esteemed friends, may we assist you back to the comfort of your seats?” mewed Jasper Kitten, extending a white gloved paw.

Jasper Kitten and Chris guided them back to their chairs and they hopped down, grooming themselves at the table.

“Water. Well, I never,” they mumbled and grumbled. “And the lights going out, of all things at lunch.”

A sense of calm came over the British Shorthairs and they finished grooming the pudding from their paws.

Sebastian set down new bowls and spoons and served a fresh round of pudding. The guests began to eat and a subtle but growing group purr filled the room.

“My dear and highly esteemed guests, please, my deepest and most sincere apologies for this disruptive disruption to our lunch. I do so hope we can all regroup and enjoy our meal together. I may have overreacted a teensy weensy bit and I do believe that Dame Cleopatra simply slipped out to the ladies litterbox.”

“Here here, Lord Archibald,” called the guests.

“You certainly are known for your quick responses in times of stress and duress, old boy, and we do so appreciate you for it here at the Manor House, your proper and ancestral pile, pipes and lights be damned,” praised Sunny Bertram-Turner.

“Ah, Sunny, you are too kind, my friend. And may I offer a further word of thanks to the world renowned and entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency for this most remarkable and opportune timing in our moment of stress and duress. I believe they are passing through Purrington on their way to the Northlands.” Archibald adjusted his monocle and shot a glance at Jasper Kitten.

“Hip hip hooray!” they cried.

Jasper Kitten held up a white gloved paw.

“Please. All is well, my friends and we remain yours truly. The lights are back on. The plumbing leak has stopped. Thank you. Thank you very much,” Jasper Kitten gave a knowing nod to Chris, Star, and Jojo and then backed away from the guests who dipped their spoons into their bowls of pudding and chatted among themselves.

“That is so typical of Cleopatra and her behavior,” meowed Mallory. “Ever since I was a wee kitten, she has been known to pull disappearing acts at mealtimes.”

“She does like to sneak off for those catnaps!” agreed Archibald.

“Here here!” they laughed.

Out of sight of the dining guests, Star checked each wall, sniffing at the baseboards until she found the nozzle of the hose in a recessed position under a side table.

“Gosh, this hose was certainly secluded,” she said in a hushed whisper, the light flashing in her eyes. “And that didn’t happen by mistake.”

“Correct Star,” commented Jasper Kitten, crouched down with her on the floor, his white gloved paws soaking wet, toebean by toebean.

“Why, that Smooth Operator could be sitting at the banquet table right under their British Shorthair noses, lapping up Archibald’s magical thinking,” growled Chris, low and slow.

“Your point is well taken, Chris,” replied Jasper Kitten, his Orange striped brow deep deep in thought. “The guests are readily accepting of his opinion on the matter as to Cleopatra’s whereabouts. Perhaps. Too. Readily.”

Jojo then slipped out of the banquet room and made haste to Cleopatra’s room, but found it empty and undisturbed. He raced back to the banquet room and slipped back in unnoticed by the British Shorthairs.

“No sign of her, Jasper Kitten,” he relayed, “not even in the box spring, sleeping off that morning Ginger Ale.”

“Thank you, Jojo, this is critical information. Thank you very much for the security check.”

Jojo nodded and slipped back out again, making his way to the Cadets in the Situation Room.

Star pressed her cinnamon brown paw against the nozzle which receded further into the wall. The baseboard tilted inwards and she pressed the nozzle again until the baseboard fell flush with the floor and a narrow passageway open open opened.

“If my instincts serve me correctly,” commented Jasper Kitten, “this is the only way that Dame Cleopatra could have exited the banquet room. The only other way in or out is through the door which we were carefully, very carefully guarding.”

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, do you suspect that she went of her own accord or was she taken against her will in the latest episode of catnapping to confront our Detective Agency?”

Jasper Kitten put his headlamp on while he considered Star’s inquiries.

“Your questions are well thought out, Star. We must investigate further and find out,” he swatted the air to the narrow passageway and pressed his lithe body inside, followed by Chris and Star.

The hose snaked out before them and they followed it, the beam of the headlamp shining the way.

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, it looks like some kind of Critter did an awful lot of shedding in here,” squinted Star. “The colors are quite distinct, an assortment of black, orange and white.”

“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten, focusing the headlamp on the multi-colored fur. “This fur is indicative of a Calico coat pattern.”

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, I’m also seeing another type of fur and it sure looks like it’s Blue.” Star collected a sampling in her cinnamon brown paw and held it up to the light.

“Correct, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “This fur is Blue. It’s definitive.”

“Why, with an indicative and definitive collection of two different coat patterns, I’d say we’re dealing with a Calico and a British Blue Shorthair,” growled Chris. “It’s looking more and more like a catnapping, Jasper Kitten.”

“Yes, I agree with you, Chris. Please. Proceed.” Jasper Kitten swatted the air again, leading the way forward.

They turned a corner in the passageway and a cool rush of air sent their whiskers twitching. Jasper Kitten pressed a white gloved paw against the vent screen and they hopped out onto the open ground. He switched off the headlamp as Jojo and the Cadets rounded the corner of the Manor House and met up with them.

“The narrow passageway which we have just traversed may not be as elaborate as that of the hidden library, but it has served a most suspicious purpose,” confirmed Jasper Kitten. He pulled his magnifying glass out of his pocket and held out the fur samples.

The Critter Detectives conferred and concurred under magnification that the collection represented both a Calico and a British Blue coat pattern.

“Cleopatra has been catnapped,” confirmed Jasper Kitten. “I fully suspect that she was abducted to the outdoors, but with a wet coat from getting hosed, the trail has gone cold.”

Cadets Clementine and Petal stood at attention and their own Serval Furbaby family history of being catnapped did not escape them. Jasper Kitten held out a white gloved paw to them and nodded in the affirmative.

“Whoever perpetrated this,” he said to them, “will not get away with it. We will find Dame Cleopatra as surely as the J Kitten, Sleuth and Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency found you and your family and cracked our previous case wide open.”

“We salute you, Jasper Kitten, Chris, Star and Jojo,” cried the Cadets.

“We can and we must find Dame Cleopatra,” cried Clementine. “This is why we became Cadets. To. Help. Crack. The. Case.”

“To. Save. Other. Critters,” cried Petal.

“The salutes and thanks are for you, Cadets Clementine and Petal,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “It is with praise, high praise indeed that I commend you, for a first responder job well done under great and tremendous pressure. You have averted an even greater crisis and maintained the integrity and security of the evidence and although the British Shorthairs were covered in pudding, no one got wet.”

“Thank you, Jasper Kitten,” they saluted.

“But what about you and Chris? Didn’t you get wet in the commission of averting the even greater crisis?” asked Clementine.

“Your question is well taken, Clementine,” replied Jasper Kitten. “Chris and I did, in fact, get wet. However. We were so focused on the mission to protect Lord Archibald and his guests that we were able to shake it off in record time.”

The Critter Detectives walked on and huddled outside the Situation Room.

“Critters, if my instincts serve me correctly, Dame Cleopatra has been taken to an undisclosed location, but I do not sense that she has gone far in such a short period of time. Please. We must proceed at once and simultaneously to protect the British Shorthairs at the Manor House and search the area for Dame Cleopatra,” announced Jasper Kitten as he strode onto the lawn joined by Chris and Star.

“Jasper Kitten, I will attend to the Manor House with the Cadets. This seems like the most logical division of labor,” barked Jojo.

“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Thank you, Jojo and let’s go go go!”

Jojo gave the Cadets a bucket each plus a mop and a squeegee.

“For your next duty, once the guests have finished eating, you are to clean the banquet room and restore it to a pristine and dry condition. I must inform you as well that the Purrington pudding may prove itself to be a most sticky situation and watch your toebeans for shattered glass and crockery.”

“Roger, Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” they responded and then departed.

Jojo stood guard in the Situation Room, watching Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star as they fanned out on the lawn under a light but steady rain that began to fall, searching, searching the grounds for Cleopatra.