Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 19 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!

Today Critters, we are huddled and cuddled for the highly anticipated release of Chapter 19 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat with the remarkable teamwork brought to us by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.

Previously and Whew! That was a close call in the last chapter! Cuz. As the grandfather clock struck midnight, our Critter Detectives saved not only the day but all of the nine lives at the Manor House. The. Bomb. Was. Defused.

So now! Welcome welcome our Core Community Critters Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent remain calm and carry on critter commentary and conversation. Please. Proceed.

Jasper: My friends, that was certainly a very very close call upon the midnight hour.

Chris: And that sure was some tandem toebean teamwork, Critters.

Jojo: Well said, Jasper and Chris. I do believe that justice and peace are about to be served. So. Let’s. Read. All. About. It.

THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT

BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY

BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER

DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR

CHAPTER 19

MURMURILLUM AD INFINITUM

A siren grew louder and louder, approaching the Manor House, and flashing lights danced across the collection of Critters gathered on the front porch.

Jasper Kitten raised a white gloved paw as the squad car ground to a halt and two local British Shorthair constables hopped out. Their toebeans crunched on the gravel drive as they strode toward the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency and the apprehended and thwarted offender, Tamsin Mixon-Bixon.

The Canine Unit kept a vice-like grip on Tamsin, cuffed as she was, with Jojo on her right and Star on her left. Cadets Clementine and Petal provided reinforcement, standing behind them. 

Jasper Kitten and Chris stepped forward toward the police who stopped and saluted.

“Is it really and truly you?” the constables asked at once, amazed. “Are you the world renowned Jasper Kitten?”

“Yes, I am Jasper Kitten,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “And this is Chris, my Canine Unit, Star and Jojo, and my Cadets Clementine and Petal.”

“It is a great honor to meet you. Please, allow us to introduce ourselves. I am Constable Barn-Stormer and this is Constable Tru-Blu. At. Your. Service.” 

Jasper Kitten nodded in the affirmative.

“We are most grateful for your speedy arrival,” he mewed.

“It is with all due respect that we thank you and the entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency for your service to the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society and for saving the Purrington Manor House from being blown to bits,” said Constable Barn-Stormer.

“Thank you. Thank you very much, Constable Barn-Stormer,” replied Jasper Kitten. “I must express my most sincere, immediate and complete appreciation to the local constabulary for your invaluable assistance.”

“Of course, Jasper Kitten,” saluted both of the constables. 

Jasper Kitten passed the defused bomb of dynamite to the capable paws of Constable Tru-Blu for proper disposal while Constable Barn-Stormer focused on the movements of the Canine Unit. Jojo and Star walked Tamsin forward, her ears fully flattened, a scowl etched across her face. 

“Tamsin Mixon-Bixon,” barked Jojo. “On behalf of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency in representation and protection of our Client Lord Archibald Purrington-Smith and his guests of the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society, it is with my full Canine Unit authority that I remand you to the Local Police for your crimes committed against Cats.”

Jojo proceeded to transfer Tamsin’s custody over to Constable Barn-Stormer and Constable Tru-Blu. They led her away from the Manor House and secured her in the back of the squad car. A howl and a yowl were cut short as they slammed the door shut on her. 

The constables gave a final salute and hopped back in the vehicle and with the lights still flashing, pulled away from the Manor House.

The taillights of the police car grew smaller and smaller and then disappeared from view. The final churn of the gravel drive under the tires faded and carried Tamsin Mixon-Bixon away from the Purrington Estate. Once. And. For. All.

“Gosh, Tamsin Mixon-Bixon almost let the ancient and ancestral oak Manor House door hit her on the way out,” barked Star, the light flashing in her eyes.

“Yes, I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten, a furrow in his Orange striped brow. “Tamsin Mixon-Bixon was not quite the Smooth Operator that she purported to be. Cuz. She’s on her way to prison and the midnight hour which has since passed as a non-event now marks the beginning of the rest of her nine lives.”

Jasper Kitten swatted the air with a white gloved paw and the Critter Detectives turned from the front porch and went back inside the Manor House, the steady tick tock of the grandfather clock soft and steady down the hall in the wee hours of the morning.

The British Shorthairs had returned to their respective bedrooms, resting and recovering from the fraught ticking ticking ticking moments of the night.

Jasper Kitten led his Detectives to the stairs and they padded up up up toward their rooms and a long awaited and very much needed deep deep sleep.

Archibald stood on the landing in his evening robe and bowed his head as they approached.

“Words cannot express,” he said, “the immense and profound and truly humble gratitude of the Purrington Estate owed to you, Jasper Kitten, and to the entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency. Thank you, Chris, the Canine Unit, Star and Jojo, and the remarkable Cadets Clementine and Petal. You show great promise at such a young and tender age, I must say.”

“Thank you, Lord Archibald,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “On behalf of my agency, it is our esteemed privilege to be of service to you, to Purrington, and to the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society.”

“I commend all of you for a job well done. Purrington and all of my guests are now safe thanks to you,” replied Archibald, his toebeans spread wide. “Before we turn in for the night, I must share something quite special and of the utmost importance. It simply cannot wait for a more ceremonial induction. Without further fanfare after you have defused a bomb and saved all of our nine lives and seen Tamsin Mixon-Bixon hauled off to jail, it is my distinct honor to bestow upon you, one and all, a Lifetime Honorary Membership in the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society.”

“Thank you very much, Lord Archibald,” accepted Jasper Kitten. “We humbly receive this highest of honors, this highest of praise, this greatest of all forms of gratitude.”

“Please, get some rest now and I will see you in the morrow.” Archibald bowed and stepped back, turned on his heel and headed back to his room.

In the morning, dappled rays of sunlight shone through the windows and the Critter Detectives stirred and stretched and groomed themselves at their leisure before treading to the Tea Room for breakfast. 

Sebastian busied himself at the table as they made their way into the room and hopped into their chairs.

“Good morning to all of you, my friends,” said Sebastian as he poured tea in their cups. “I do so hope that you were able to get some much deserved rest after the events of last night.”

“Yes, thank you, Sebastian,” replied Jasper Kitten. “And we hope the same for you.”

“Of course, Jasper Kitten. Of course. Although, I was most pleased to get an early start,” he replied, the breakfast spread out on the table. 

Sebastian put Kibble Scones fresh out of the oven on the Lazy Susan and then placed bowls of steaming porridge before each of them. Chris reached out with a toebean for the first Kibble Scone serving, then gave the Lazy Susan a spin toward Star, and they all began to chow down.

“The breakfast is most excellent. Thank you, Sebastian,” mewed Jasper Kitten, his spoon suspended over the bowl of porridge.

“You are quite welcome, Jasper Kitten,” and with that, he took his leave of the Tea Room.

The Detectives paused over their porridge and glanced at Jasper Kitten, a moment that seemed both poised and frozen in time. And then, while they waited, Jasper Kitten scooped his spoon into his bowl to a collective audible sigh of relief and an exhalation all the way out.

After breakfast, the Cadets helped Sebastian with KP Duty, drying and stacking the bowls and spoons, the teapot and cups, and polishing the tray scrubbed clean of all crumbs from the batch of Kibble Scones. They hung up their aprons and folded the dishrags, then looked up from their work to see Jasper Kitten standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Thank you, Cadets Clementine and Petal,” he praised them. “Your presence is requested by Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo in the Situation Room. Please. Proceed.”

They made their way with Jasper Kitten to the back of the Manor House and saw Jojo remove the Skeleton Key from his pocket and unlock the door, ushering them into the Situation Room. He handed each of them a shovel and they saluted him before they clasped and grasped the handles.

“Cadets Clementine and Petal,” announced Jasper Kitten. “Today we will assist Lord Archibald of the Purrington Estate and the British Shorthair guests in laying Reginald to rest under the boughs of the old oak tree. Furever and ever.”

In a solemn procession, the Critter Detectives traversed the lawn to the oak tree with the initials RP-S + VS-W carved in it so very long ago. Jasper Kitten and Chris, with great reverence and decorum carried the Bog Body of Reginald while Star carried the Cracked Monocle and Bowler Hat in her cinnamon brown paws, and Jojo carried the Diary of 1850, the empty pages now at peace in the past.

In front of the tree, they were met by Lord Archibald, Sebastian and the British Shorthair guests who stood aside as the Detectives drew near.

The Cadets set to work and dug a deep deep grave. Jasper Kitten and Chris knelt down and placed the shrouded remains of Reginald in the ground. Star passed the Cracked Monocle and Bowler Hat to them and Jojo did the same for the Diary of 1850 and all was placed alongside Reginald.

Jasper Kitten dusted off his white gloved paws and glanced up at Archibald who stepped forward and began to speak.

“Rest in peace, Reginald,” said Archibald to the solemn silence of the gathered British Shorthairs. “Murmurillum ad infinitum. Purr. Furever.” 

He dug in with the shovel and poured the earth onto the remains of Reginald. One by one, the British Shorthairs did the same until the grave was filled.

“My esteemed friends,” intoned Archibald. “May we always honor the memory of Reginald Purrington-Smith now given a proper burial here on the hallowed grounds of Purrington with luvluvluv and respect.”

“Here here,” they agreed.

“My dear friends, the Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society must now draw to its successful conclusion. As Lord of the Manor, I thank you for your highly esteemed company and participation. Until we meet again next year, may you all be well and thrive.”

“Thank you, Lord Archibald,” they murmured. 

“Furthermore. I would also like to share with you a decision which I have made in regards to the longevity, the integrity and the pedigree of the Purrington Estate. I, Lord Archibald Purrington-Smith, do hereby grant the Purrington Estate, inclusive of the Manor House and my lands, in perpetuity to the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society. Furever.”

A cheer rose up from the guests.

“Murmurillum ad infinitum,” cried Archibald.

“Murmurillum ad infinitum,” cried the British Shorthairs.

The group returned to the Manor House and bid farewell to one another. Double barrel names were called out loud as hugs and kiss kisses were shared all around.

Lord Archibald extended a toebean to them as they mingled on the front porch while Sebastian brought their luggage outside and loaded the cars. 

“Jeremey Sox-Box,” said Archibald with his extended toebean. “Do reach out for a reference in your new and dare I add, successful, job search.”

“Thank you, Lord Archibald. I will be sure to do so,” replied Jeremy.

“Mallory Southlands-West,” proclaimed Archibald.

“Lord Archibald, I do so wish to thank you for your kindness,” claimed Mallory.

“Of course, my dear. Of course.” He leaned in with a toebean and said in a conspiratorial whisper, “Your future is bright, Mallory. A little behavioral modification and the Presidency of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society will be yours for the asking some day.”

“Thank you very much, Lord Archibald,” she bowed.

“Yes. Finishing School,” he added.

“Ah, Isadore and Elizabeth Sparks-Stokes, the time has simply flown by this year!” exclaimed Archibald.

“This was one for the records books, old boy!” laughed Elizabeth.

“You can write it in the library ledgerbook entry!” added Isadore.

“Indeed. Indeed, my friends,” agreed Archibald.

He turned to Maximus and Kitty Jones-Lovejoy.

“Alas, we must part ways again and so soon. Do have a safe trip home.”

“Thank you, Lord Archibald,” said Kitty. “Maximus and I are ever so grateful this year and every year for your kindness and generosity.”

“And for training that little brat, Mallory,” added Maximus.

“Yes, growing pains, my friends, growing pains,” sighed Archibald.

“And last but not least, my dear friends Sunny and Opal Bertram-Turner, how can I ever repay the kindness of your presence so bestowed upon me?” asked Archibald.

“Lord Archibald, your praise is heaped upon us once again. We’ll never forget this Annual Gathering and are ever so appreciative of participating. Thank you as always. And please do come visit us,” invited Opal.

“Your offer is most generous, most generous, but you know what a homebody I am!” he cried.

Dame Cleopatra strolled over to Archibald.

“Kiss kiss, Archie,” she purred.

“Kiss kiss, Cleo,” he returned.

“The Annual Gathering of the Royal and Incredible British Shorthair Society has been a rather smashing success if I do say so myself,” said Cleopatra.

“Here here. Here here.”

“And to you, Jasper Kitten. Yes. I see you and your white gloved paws, no use in trying to make yourself discreet behind the ancient and ancestral oak door of the Manor House with your Detectives,” she called out.

Jasper Kitten strode onto the porch.

“Dame Cleopatra,” he said.

“Thank you, you Ginger Striped Sleuth. You have indeed saved the day. You and the entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency,” she called out again.

“Why, at your service, Dame Cleopatra,” growled Chris, loud and proud and they all stepped out from behind the door and bowed.

“Yes. Quite,” she purred. “Kiss kiss.”

The guests hopped into their respective vehicles and started their engines. With the single blare of a klaxon horn, they steered their way back down the drive. 

Dame Cleopatra lingered a moment longer and then she too hopped into her roadster, gave a wave of a Calico toebean and spun away in a spray of gravel with nary a glance in the rearview mirror.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Poetry with Pets

Nary a look back

Taillights and rearview mirrors

Make peace with the past

By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Jojo

Thank you for reading luvluvluv Jasper Kitten, Chris, Star in Heaven Furever and Ever, and Jojo

Critters! Catch up on all of the mystery and adventure with The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Book Number 2!

Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap.7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap. 14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18

Furthermore!

The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope! The Complete Book Number 1!

Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap. 7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap.14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20

(Coming soon to IngramSpark, too!)

The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope