Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly explosive release of Chapter 18 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!

May 06, 2025

Today Critters, we are on the edge of our seats with the explosive release of Chapter 18 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat. Will there still be nine lives left to live by the time we reach the end?

Previously, with the approach of the midnight hour, the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency realized not a moment too soon that in order to crack the case wide open they are all faced with being blown to bits.

Please, join our Core Community Critters Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent explosive critter commentary and conversation. Take. It. Away!

Jasper: Hello, Critters and welcome welcome to Chapter 18. But. We must remain very very quiet.

Chris: Hello, Friends. I hope you can hear us cuz we’re whispering. Right here. Right now. As. We. Speak.

Jojo: That’s right Jasper and Chris. Please. Dear Gentle Critters and Dear Gentle Readers, we must remain very and I mean very very quiet in T minus nine lives. Full. Stop.

THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT
BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 18
T MINUS NINE LIVES

Without a ticking moment to spare, Jasper Kitten hit his top ground speed of 30 miles per hour in a blur of Orange fur. He covered the distance from the Situation Room to the grandfather clock in the library in record time. The entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency furiously followed in his tracks.

Jojo brought up the rear after locking the door to the Situation Room with the skeleton key, kept safe and secure in his pocket. He maintained a firm grip on Tamsin Mixon-Bixon, having slapped the cuffs back on her. He marched her into the library and cuffed her to the table of dictionaries.

“Critters!” cried Jasper Kitten. “We. Must. Defuse. The. Bomb.”

Tamsin laughed at his sense of urgency, the time ticking ticking ticking toward the midnight hour.

“Cadets Clementine and Petal!” barked Jojo.

“At the ready, Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo!” they replied at attention by his side.

“It is imperative that the British Shorthairs are all safely evacuated from the Manor House. You must herd cats at once!”

They saluted and tore out of the library.

“Gosh, Tamsin Mixon-Bixon, for the sake of saving everyone at the Manor House, please tell us how to defuse the bomb that you planted in the grandfather clock,” implored Star.

“Never, Star. I beg to differ,” called Tamsin.

“Tamsin Mixon-Bixon. You are not a very nice person!” barked Star.

“Alas, Star,” responded Tamsin with a sigh. “You might be right about that.”

“But you’ll get blown up, too!” barked Star.

“Hardly. I merely am tap tap tapping one of my nine lives, so I will remain calm and carry on,” said Tamsin, perusing a page from the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.

“Why, enough of you, Tamsin Mixon-Bixon,” growled Chris, loud and proud. “Our Client Lord Archibald and the guests are in more danger than ever. Cuz. Of. You.”

“Why, I’ll take that as a compliment of the highest order, Critter Detective Chris,” shrugged Tamsin.

“Now listen to me, Tamsin,” mewed Jasper Kitten, his voice level and commanding, “and listen to me good.”

She yawned at him, blase and bored.

“Here’s a word right from the dictionary, Jasper Kitten. Volume A-M of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary is open to the word, boom. How ironic. What. A. Synchronicity.” Tamsin narrowed her eyes at him.

“Tamsin Mixon-Bixon, I will not ask again. Tell us how to defuse the bomb in the grandfather clock,” Jasper Kitten demanded.

“Oh sure, Jasper Kitten. I’ll let you know in a few minutes. Full stop,” she chuckled. “Boom. That certainly has a nice ring to it.”

He furrowed his Orange striped brow and studied the movement of the pendulum, tick tick tick, tock.

“We have less than ten minutes, Jasper Kitten,” urged Chris.

“If my instincts serve me correctly,” calculated Jasper Kitten, “the gap between ticks is the window we need to defuse the bomb.”

“Gosh. Do you mean…,” barked Star.

“Why. Are you saying…,” growled Chris.

“Yes. Exactly.” Jasper Kitten swatted the air with a white gloved paw. “Forget the tock of this ticking time bomb.”

Clementine skidded into the library.

“Jasper Kitten! Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo! Permission to speak!” she cried.

“Permission granted,” barked Jojo.

“We’ve herded the cats! But all of the exits are locked!” she reported.

“What about windows?” called Jasper Kitten.

“Locked!” cried Clementine.

Jasper Kitten looked up from the ticking pendulum and made a split second executive decision.

“Cadet Clementine! Everyone, and I mean everyone, must be brought to the library and accounted for immediately,” cried Jasper Kitten, swatting the air again with a white gloved paw. “Lord Archibald. Butler Sebastian. And. Every. Single. Double. Barrel. Guest. Go go go!”

“Roger that!” and she raced out of the library.

Jojo locked eyes with Tamsin and she gave a smile that would have been considered polite had they been in a social circumstance other than what was so very, very adverse.

Jasper Kitten returned his focus to the grandfather clock and slowly slowly opened the glass door to expose the pendulum.

He patted his white gloved paws at the base of the cabinet and felt a slight movement. He gave a nod in the affirmative to Chris.

“There isn’t time for me to fetch my multi-tool from the original Mini automotive kit,” conferred Chris. “But I can improvise.”

“Correct, Chris. Time. Is. Of. The. Essence,” concurred Jasper Kitten.

Chris extended a toebean and tap tapped the clock cabinet panel with great dexterity and finesse, a near imperceptible amount of pressure exerted against the wood. Working next with the tandem teamwork of their toebeans, Jasper Kitten and Chris removed the panel and gazed inside at a bundle of dynamite with wires wrapped around and around the center.

They caught their breath. A small clock was attached to the wires and synched with the grandfather clock. Three wires extended from the bundle of dynamite toward the gears of the pendulum. Jasper Kitten and Chris swallowed hard and exhaled all the way out.

“Jasper Kitten,” growled Chris, low and slow. “These three wires are attached to the teeth of the gear. One wire per tooth.”

“Correct, Chris,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “This makes the ticks stick, so we have the three ticks to every one tock ratio. If my instincts continue to serve me correctly, there is still enough movement in the gear. This transfers the necessary energy to overcome friction and keep the pendulum in swing. However and Furthermore. Each time the gear moves, the bomb is that much closer to detonation.”

“Boom time,” growled Chris.

“Yes, I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten, a deep deep furrow in his Orange striped brow. “Chris, we are running out of time, but Tamsin Mixon-Bixon has made a crucial error when she set the bomb.”

“I’m all ears, Jasper Kitten,” replied Chris.

“The. Grandfather. Clock. Is. Running. Slow.” Jasper Kitten swatted the air.

“How slow?” asked Chris.

“A full three minutes, maybe more,” estimated Jasper Kitten. “It may not sound like much, but it could mean the difference between life and death.”

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Across the expanse of the library, Cadets Clementine and Petal led the British Shorthairs, still in their cat’s pyjamas, into the room. Lord Archibald, Sebastian and the British Shorthair Society walked one by one and in silence to a point right inside the entrance.

Jojo stepped away from Tamsin and approached the huddled and cuddled group.

“Serves you right, Tamsin Mixon-Bixon,” Mallory said under her breath, letting out a slow hiss. “While you’re cuffed to the dictionary desk, try looking up the spelling and definition of loser.”

Tamsin flattened her ears and strained against the cuffs while Mallory lapsed into a glaring silence.

Jojo lowered his voice to a hush and called out the British Shorthair names, accounting for each and every one of them in the Manor House.

“Isadore and Elizabeth Sparks-Stokes,” he barked.

“Here,” they said.

“Mallory Southlands-West.”

“Here.”

“Jeremy Sox-Box.”

“Here.” He too glared at Tamsin Mixon-Bixon.

“Maximus and Kitty Jones-Lovejoy.”

“Here.”

“Sunny and Opal Bertram-Turner.”

“Here.”

“Dame Cleopatra Firestone-Fields.”

“Here, Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” she nodded her Calico head.

“Butler Sebastian.”

“Here. At. Your. Service.”

“Lord Archibald.”

“Here,” swooned Archibald and then steadied himself.

Star placed both cinnamon brown paws on the standing globe with the full might of her pound per pound Senior Chihuahua strength and gave the world a spin on its axis, waiting for the rotation of the bookshelf and a way out through the hidden chamber.

The library wall shifted but remained stuck in place. A book rocked on the top shelf and fell, caught in the open paws of Petal as she dove for it an inch above the ground and without a sound.

“Good catch, Cadet Petal,” said Star in a hushed bark.

The British Shorthairs mumbled and grumbled, but quieted when Jojo gave the patted paws down signal.

“Please. Everyone. Remain silent,” he advised. “Jasper Kitten and Chris must concentrate. Very. Very. Hard.”

Petal read the title of the book held secure in her capable toebeans and passed the volume to Star whose eyes widened as she adjusted her reading glasses. She nodded to Jojo and the Canine Unit inspected the pages.

“Gosh, Jojo, all of the books should be first editions for the proper position of the rotating bookcase. That’s how it was when we first discovered the mechanism that open open opens the wall. However. Petal caught this second edition of The Wind in the Willows. Therefore. The wall is in the incorrect position, a full one-eighty rotation,” apprised Star. “The. Wall. Is. Reversed.”

“Good thinking, Star. The rotating bookcase is stuck, but we’re tick tick ticking to midnight. We’ve got to get the British Shorthairs evacuated to safety even if we have to break windows to do it. Although, what you’re saying leads me to suspect that we still might stand a chance of getting the bookcase to work,” he barked under his breath.

“It’s worth one more try!” she affirmed. “I can do it!”

Jojo hurried back to the huddled and cuddled group while Star braced both cinnamon brown paws against the globe and gave it her most ferocious spin.

The bookcase lurched and rotated by a foot and then another foot, but stopped even as the world continued to turn.

“It’s open open open just enough, Jojo,” estimated Star.

He gave a paws up in the affirmative and led the British Shorthairs to the passageway. Mallory stepped aside and Kitty went ahead of her. The Cadets helped guide them single file into the hidden chamber.

“Cadets Clementine and Petal, hurry, hurry,” ordered Jojo, passing Jasper Kitten’s headlamp to Clementine. “Take the group of British Shorthairs as fast as you can through the passage and get them as far away from the Manor House as possible. Go go go!”

They gave a rapid salute and disappeared behind the bookcase.

Meanwhile, back at the grandfather clock, Jasper Kitten and Chris made a visual evaluation of the wires that ran from the bundle of dynamite to the gear of the pendulum and the tick tick tick.

“Observe,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “The wires are black, white and orange.”

“Why, those are traditional calico colors,” growled Chris, low and slow.

“Correct, Chris. I suspect that Tamsin wired the fuse based on Dame Cleopatra as a means of retaliating at her in as symbolic a way as possible,” commented Jasper Kitten.

“Why, planting a bomb is a cheap shot at her and the British Shorthair Society that she represents, Jasper Kitten,” replied Chris, staring hard at each of the three wires. “But there’s gotta be a clue in that, too.”

“Yes, I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “A. Method. In. Her. Madness. Three colors. One coat pattern.”

“Jasper Kitten, if we cut the wires simultaneously that will defuse the bomb,” asserted Chris.

“We must work together,” affirmed Jasper Kitten. “On the count of three, I want you to cut the black and white wires. I will cut the orange wire.”

Chris nodded in the affirmative and they took a deep deep breath. Their claws came out.

“One,” counted Jasper Kitten.

Tick tick tick. Tock.

“Two,” he said and they readied their toebeans.

Tick tick tick. Tock.

“Three.”

Jasper Kitten and Chris cut the wires. They retracted their claws as the pendulum swung the other way.

Tick. Tock.

The pendulum continued to swing with a single tick and a single tock and the clock struck the midnight hour. Twelve chimes rang out in the library. The bundle of dynamite sat inert, defused and rendered harmless. Jasper Kitten ran a white gloved paw across his Orange striped brow and Chris touched a toebean to the three severed wires that dangled before them.

The Canine Unit, Star and Jojo bounded over to them and bark bark barked out loud.

“You did it!” praised Jojo.

“You’re the best bomb squad ever!” howled Star, the light flashing in her eyes.

“Teamwork,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Teamwork.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Poetry with Pets

The ticking time bomb

Evacuate to safety

Teamwork at midnight

By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo