Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 14 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat!

Today, Critters, we are pleased to present the highly anticipated release of Chapter 14 of The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Brought to you by the ever steady and at the ready J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency! Because! It’s time, right here, right now for our Detective Tuesday Post!

Previously! Heavy footsteps were heard on the stairs at the Top Cat Pub. Up and up and up. Closer and closer. What will our Critter Detectives do next? And who is there? Who. Is. It!

Please join our Core Community Critters Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo in excellent step by step critter commentary and conversation!

Jasper: Who.

Chris: What.

Jojo: Where.

THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT

BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY

BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER

DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR

CHAPTER 14

PUT SOME ENGLISH ON IT

Jasper Kitten peered through the keyhole as the Critters braced themselves behind the door, the footsteps on the stairs coming closer and closer, slower and slower.

He spied a blur of tri-colored fur and then a thud on the landing. His rapid cognition identified a collapsed Calico and Jasper Kitten wasted no time turning the doorknob with his white gloved paws.

“Why, the Dame Cleopatra found her way back to the Top Cat Pub!” cried Chris as they all rushed to her aid.

Jojo reached her first and performed an immediate check of her vital signs.

“She’s breathing normally and her heart rate is somewhat elevated. Her eyes are rolled back in her head. There’s bruising around her scruff and she’s definitely inebriated, but I do not detect any other signs of trauma,” assessed Jojo, keeping a steady palpitating touch of a toebean on Cleopatra’s pulse.

“Well, I’m chuffed,” she huffed, lifting her head and dropping it back down.

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, we need to get back to the Manor House pronto and help the Cadets who could very well be behind the eight ball as we speak! But we can’t leave Dame Cleopatra here!” barked Star.

“Correct, Star. We. Must. Multi-task,” asserted Jasper Kitten. “Jojo, in your professional first responder experience, do you find it safe to transport Dame Cleopatra?”

“Yes, Jasper Kitten. She’s good to go,” he replied.

“Critters, I suggest we carry Dame Cleopatra back to the security of the Situation Room and let her sober up under our ever vigilant watch,” instructed Jasper Kitten.

Chris and the Canine Unit gave a collective nod in the affirmative.

“And when she does sober up, I’ve got a few questions that I’d like to ask her,” Jasper Kitten swatted the air of the landing with his white gloved paw and lifted Dame Cleopatra carefully, very carefully to her feet.

She swayed from side to side. Chris cradled her with his toebeans and carried her down the stairs and across the threshold of the backdoor. 

“What to do,” she mumbled as her words slurred and her vision blurred, “what to do.”

They made their way back to the Manor House under a leaden sky, the rain steady but light. Petal greeted them upon their return to the Situation Room and assisted with Cleopatra’s comfort, making a soft bed for her in a corner. Chris set her down and she burrowed into the covers.

“Cadet Petal, you have done an excellent job of maintaining order in the Situation Room. The evidence from the bog is in order and undisturbed,” said Jasper Kitten, scanning the surroundings. “Jojo and I must attend to Cadet Clementine in the billiard room at once.”

“Roger that, Jasper Kitten and Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” saluted Petal. “No physical breaches of security have been noted in the Situation Room on my watch.”

“Have you noticed any shadowy figures passing by the door?” inquired Jasper Kitten.

“Negative, Jasper Kitten,” said Petal.

“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “This is welcome news and comes to us as a great relief.”

“Excellent work, Cadet Petal,” complimented Jojo. “So far, the threat level has not escalated beyond the taunting texts sent to Cadet Clementine.”

“Copy,” confirmed Petal.

Jasper Kitten and Jojo dashed out of the Situation Room and met up with Clementine in the hallway outside of the billiard room.

“Thank goodness you’re here, Jasper Kitten and Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” exclaimed Clementine. 

“Cadet Clementine, have you received any further taunting text messages?” asked Jasper Kitten.

“Negative,” she saluted on high alert. “But I’m very concerned cuz I’ve been sensing and observing a subtle tension among the guests.”

“We are at the ready, Cadet Clementine,” affirmed Jojo. 

“There’s been some squabbling and a few hisses over miscues at billiards,” she confirmed. “Even a scratch shot that involved a retractable claw on the part of Jeremey Sox-Box.”

“Thank you, Clementine. Have any of the guests or Lord Archibald himself expressed an awareness of your presence?” questioned Jasper Kitten.

“No, I’ve been careful to stay out of sight.”

“This taunting text messaging situation is most curious. Clementine, you have provided excellent security and fortunately, Petal has not identified any security breaches in the Situation Room. None. Whatsoever,” exclaimed Jasper Kitten.

“Jasper Kitten and Ret. Sgt. Det. Jojo,” saluted Clementine, “I have a sneaking suspicion that not all of the guests are as illustrious as they may seem.”

“What has led you to suspect this sneaking suspicion?” barked Jojo under his breath.

“After I got the taunting text message about good luck with guarding that bicentennial bog body, I saw Mallory Southlands-West pocket her phone with a menacing grin. And then she surreptitiously tripped Kitty Jones-Lovejoy with a cue stick and sent her flying into a tray of kibble scones!”

“I see the cause for alarm, Cadet Clementine,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Are you sure it was Mallory Southlands-West who redirected her aggression from her phone to the cue stick?”

“Yes cuz she’s the guest with the white tipped tail.”

“Your skills of identification are keen and excellent, Cadet Clementine. Furthermore, the Southlands-West name keeps coming up,” noted Jojo. “So does the distinctive marking of the white tipped tail.”

Jojo shared the findings from the Top Cat Pub with Clementine who listened with rapt attention as he described the portrait of Theo Purrington-Smith and his white tipped tail, followed by the surprise appearance of Cleopatra, dazed and confused.

“So, both Theo in the Victorian Era and Mallory in the here and now have white tipped tails,” replied Clementine.

“Correct,” said Jojo. 

“It could be genetic,” she surmised.

“Yes, a heritable trait,” he confirmed.

“And the biological basis for intergenerational trauma,” said Jasper Kitten.

Clementine paused to consider the news while Jasper Kitten and Jojo watched the British Shorthairs rack up a new game.

“After Mallory tripped Kitty, she also said something most puzzling,” said Clementine.

“We’re all ears,” said Jasper Kitten.

“She said that’s putting some English on it. But what does it mean? I felt it was quite coded and alarming!”

“You are correct in your threat assessment level, Clementine. That is a term right out of the playbook for billiards to put a specific spin on the cue ball,” instructed Jasper Kitten.

“You mean, according to the Laws of Physics?”

“Yes. Exactly. Clementine, what was the reaction of Lord Archibald and the other guests to the tripping incident?”

“They told Kitty to watch her step and then they ate the kibble scones,” she relayed.

“These British Shorthairs seem to take things at face value,” surmised Jojo. “The manipulative actions of Mallory have eluded them.”

“It was sneaky of Mallory,” replied Clementine. “At that point, I felt it my sworn duty to contact you about the situation as an elevated threat level.”

“Yes, you did the right thing, Cadet Clementine. The risk and threat level definitely put the British Shorthair Society behind the eight ball, but with no awareness on their part,” Jojo assured her. “Please, stay here until they have concluded playing billiards then return to the Situation Room.”

“Well done, Cadet Clementine,” mewed Jasper Kitten in agreement. “Subtlety is clearly not the strong suit of the British Shorthair Society and Mallory has manipulated them to her full advantage. If you sense any further covert or overt tension that might put them at further risk, notify us at once and immediately.”

“Roger that,” she said at attention. 

The British Shorthairs concentrated on the cue ball while Archibald sank a bank shot and the game went on.

Jasper Kitten and Jojo returned to the Situation Room as Cleopatra began to regain consciousness. She sat up in the soft bed and Jasper Kitten knelt down beside her.

“How are you feeling, Dame Cleopatra?” he asked.

“Rather fuzzy, Jasper Kitten,” she slurred.

“Dame Cleopatra, may I inquire of you a few important questions?” he asked.

“Of course, Mr. Sleuth and Perforator of Some Kind of Object or Other Effective Agency,” she yawned and blinked at him.

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, it sure doesn’t seem like she’s ready or steady yet,” barked Star.

“That. Is. Correct,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Dame Cleopatra, you need your rest. Please. Proceed.”

Cleopatra burrowed back into the bed and nodded off again.

The Critter Detectives conferred and concurred about the security situation in the billiard room.

“Clementine made an excellent call,” assessed Jasper Kitten. “The taunting text messages express knowledge of the bog body which is most concerning to our investigation.”

“Why, the Blocked Sender even used the temporal term, bicentennial bog body, so they know the age is from the Victorian Era,” growled Chris.

“Correct, Chris. The text contains a great deal of understanding in a very concise format,” said Jasper Kitten. 

“Gosh, and that also means whoever it is knows we are really here for investigative purposes and not, as Lord Archibald told the guests at lunch, passing through Purrington on our way to the Northlands,” barked Star, the light flashing in her eyes.

“Yes, I see, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Furthermore, the Blocked Sender function in the text messaging means whoever this is has something to hide about their identity. And. That. Was. Not. A. Very. Smooth. Move.”

He paced the room and saw Cleopatra sit up and focus on him, quiet but alert. With a soft step of his toebeans, Jasper Kitten approached her and knelt down again, resting a white gloved paw next to her.

“Dame Cleopatra, do you recall what happened to you at lunch?”

“Yes, Jasper Kitten. I was simply eating my pudding when the lights went out and there was water and someone had the audacity to abduct me!” she cried.

“I am very sorry about that circumstance, Dame Cleopatra,” he said.

“Thank you, young man. That is most kind of you.”

“So, you did not leave the banquet room of your own accord to go to the lady’s litterbox?”

“I most certainly did not. Of all things to be asked by a Ginger Domestic Shorthair. That is rather forward of you, Jasper Kitten, and I’m frankly shocked by your lack of decorum. Shocked, I tell you,” she snorted.

“Please, forgive me for the interrogative intrusion. However, it is most important that we understand what really happened at lunch.”

“Well, I was not able to finish my pudding,” she clarified.

“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten.

“It was most disruptive to the appetite to be abducted over one’s pudding.” 

“Of course, Dame Cleopatra. Would you be able to describe this catnapper for us and what happened over your pudding?”

“Well, it was a blurry and furry British Blue Shorthair, I’d say,” she said. “Hmmm, I must think about it.”

“This is most helpful information and do take your time, Dame Cleopatra. Please. Proceed. At. Your. Own. Pace.”

“Hmmm, let me see, let me see,” she tapped a tri-colored toebean on her head. 

The Critter Detectives gathered round as Cleopatra thought about it and then thought some more before giving her recap of events. Petal felt the horizontal white stripes on her ears rise to the highest of auditory levels as she listened from her station at the door.

“When the lights went out in the banquet room and I was grabbed and nabbed by my Calico scruff, which was an exceedingly rude gesture I must add, I was then dragged outdoors through some kind of narrow passageway which was quite the squeeze and where I managed to escape. Yes. That is what happened. I managed to escape from the clutches of my most exceedingly rude captor and hid in a nearby shrub which, I might add for the edification of you Critter Detectives, is no place for a Dame. Furthermore, whoever it was seemed to be in quite a hurry. I waited until the coast was clear and then I stumbled and fumbled my way back to the Top Cat Pub where I was able to get away from this horrid and proper natural pile of a Manor House. The end.”

“And did your catnapper speak to you?” asked Jasper Kitten.

“Yes, come to think of it,” she mused.

“Do you recall what was said?” he asked.

“Well, it all happened so fast, I’ll have to think about it.”

“Did they have an accent?” he pressed.

“Of course not, Jasper Kitten. British Shorthairs do not have accents unlike you Detectives from across the Pond.”

“I see, thank you for the clarification, Dame Cleopatra,” mewed Jasper Kitten.

“Of course. You’re welcome,” she sniffed.

“Can you identify the voice as either male or female?”

“Female and, oh yes, all she said was that I’m a little glitch or a little pitch or something of a little sounding nature. And something complimentary about my high level of intelligence cuz I know too much about Purrington. It was ever so frightfully difficult to hear while being dragged through that narrow passageway.”

“Thank you, Dame Cleopatra, thank you very much.” Jasper Kitten concluded his catnapping questioning.

“You’re welcome, Jasper Kitten,” she slurred as her vision again blurred. “At the very least, I can say that you are most polite. Mostly. Actually.” She blinked and nodded off to sleep.

Clementine returned to the situation room with a salute in the doorway.

“Cadet Clementine reporting to the Situation Room. At your service in cracking any and all catnappings,” she said, spotting Cleopatra fast asleep in the corner.

“Thank you, Cadet Clementine,” barked Jojo. “Is everything A-okay with the British Shorthairs?”

“Yes. They have returned to their rooms for a brief rest period and grooming before dinner,” she relayed, stepping inside.

“Thank you, Cadet Clementine, you have done an excellent job,” replied Jojo. “At ease, Cadets. Both of you have earned a break until after dinner.”

“Why, it’s been hours since we last ate. My stomach is growling,” growled Chris, loud and proud.

Clementine reached out to Chris with a kibble scone.

“Will this help tide you over until dinner, Chris? It’s from the snack tray in the billiard room. Sebastian gave it to me.”

“Thank you, Cadet Clementine. Thank you very much. Is anyone else in need of a snack?” asked Chris, accepting the kibble scone offering with a tap of his toebean.

“Gosh, it’s so nice of you to share, Chris, but I don’t want to spoil my dinner,” said Star.

“Ditto,” said Jojo. 

Clementine and Petal shook their heads no.

“Correct, Chris,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Please. Proceed.”

Jasper Kitten strode to the table of evidence. He picked up the magnifying glass in his white gloved paw and focused on the Bowler Hat, the Cracked Monocle and the Diary of 1850. He rested his gaze on the covered bog body, lost in thought about Reginald’s demise. 

The late afternoon light began to fade and the rain and wind picked up. At last, Jasper Kitten spoke.

“If my instincts serve me correctly, the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency will be behind the eight ball until we crack this case wide open. Fully. And. Completely.” 

He set the magnifying glass down, but clasped and grasped it for a moment longer in his white gloved paw before he let go and swatted the air.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Poetry with Pets

Rack up a new game

Chalk up after every shot

Don’t sink the cue ball

By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo

Thank you for reading luvluvluv Jasper Kitten, Chris, Star in Heaven Furever & Ever, and Jojo

Critters! Catch up on all of the mystery and adventure with The Case of the Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Book Number 2! Brought to you by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency!

Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap.7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13

Furthermore!

The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope! The Complete Book Number 1!

Chap. 1🐾Chap. 2🐾Chap. 3🐾Chap. 4🐾Chap. 5🐾Chap. 6🐾Chap. 7🐾Chap. 8🐾Chap. 9🐾Chap. 10🐾Chap. 11🐾Chap. 12🐾Chap. 13🐾Chap.14🐾Chap. 15🐾Chap. 16🐾Chap. 17🐾Chap. 18🐾Chap. 19🐾Chap. 20

(Coming soon to IngramSpark, too!)

The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope