Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And Book Number 2 from the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency! The Case of The Bowled Over Bowler Hat! Chapter 1!

Jan 07, 2025

Today, Critters, we hit the ground running in 2025 with the highly anticipated release of Book 2 brought to you by the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency! It is with great honor and humility and a deep deep sense of mystery that we present to you The Case of The Bowled Over Bowler Hat!

This is also CwC’s 250th Post! Furthermore, this is our first post in the New Year! Do the math, Critters! Thank you for reading! We luvluvluv you!

Please, join our Core Community Critters, Jasper Kitten, Chris and Jojo for our excellent Semiquincentennial critter commentary and conversation!

Jasper: Hello and Happy New Year, Critters! We have big plans for 2025!

Chris: Thank you, Jasper Kitten, for this incredible conversation starter for 2025! We. Are. Ready.

Jojo: Hello and welcome, Dear Gentle Readers and Dear Gentle Critters! It’s such a great feeling to be here with you. Thank you very much.

Jasper: And now! We present to you the First Chapter of our new detective story, so let’s take it away! Because. It’s London calling!

THE CASE OF THE BOWLED OVER BOWLER HAT
BOOK 2 FROM THE J KITTEN, SLEUTH & PURVEYOR OF BRIGHT SHINY OBJECTS DETECTIVE AGENCY
BY JASPER KITTEN, CHRIS, JOJO AND STAR IN HEAVEN FUREVER AND EVER
DEDICATED IN LUVLUVLUVING MEMORY OF STAR
CHAPTER 1
LONDON CALLING

The jumbo jet carrying the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency touched down at London Heathrow and taxied to the gate.

The whirr of the engines powered down and when the seatbelt light went off, Jasper Kitten, his feline associate Chris, and the Canine Unit, Star and Jojo, unfastened their buckles with a simultaneous click.

The Critters stretched and flexed their toebeans, releasing any and all tension from their transatlantic journey while they waited their turn to exit their row and deplane.

Chris, a twenty pound bouncer of a cat, gathered their carry-on luggage, reaching into the overhead bin and handing down each suitcase to his Detective companions. He reached into the overhead bin one last time and handed Jasper Kitten his Attache Case.

Out of an abundance of caution, the Orange striped sleuth checked that the locks were secure and grasped the handle with his white gloved paw.

They padded down the jetway and through the crowded terminal, dodging their way with a toebean here and another toebean there until they reached the Animal Reception Centre, ready to clear Critter Customs.

“Next in line,” barked the Customs Officer.

Jasper Kitten stepped forward and set his passport on the counter.

“Are you arriving here for Business or Pleasure?” the Customs Officer reached for Jasper Kitten’s passport.

“Business,” stated Jasper Kitten.

The Customs Officer rifled through the pages of the passport and eyed Jasper Kitten.

“Are you Jasper Kitten?”

“Yes, I am Jasper Kitten.”

“The World Renowned Detective, Jasper Kitten?”

“Yes, although with all due humility, I cannot take all of the credit,” he nodded to Chris, Star and Jojo who stood behind him in line.

“State your Coat Pattern,” droned the Customs Officer.

“Orange Tabby with white gloved paws,” stated Jasper Kitten.

“Are you here with your full and entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency?”

“Yes, the full and entire J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency is here,” mewed Jasper Kitten.

“Are you here on Official Business or Unofficial Business?”

“Official.”

“And in what capacity?”

“In the investigative detective capacity of a case pending at a Country Manor House.”

“And will you be conducting this Official Business entirely and solely on the premises of the Country Manor House?”

“Yes, although we must also go where the investigation leads us, so our whereabouts remain somewhat of a mystery.”

The Customs Officer looked past the passport at Jasper Kitten and then stamped the entry page with a loud thud on the counter and handed the passport back.

“Off you go and be careful, Jasper Kitten. Next!”

Chris stepped up and set his passport on the counter with a tap of his toebeans.

“Are you acting in an Official Business capacity with Jasper Kitten?” barked the Customs Officer.

“Yes,” said Chris.

“State your Coat Pattern,” droned the Customs Officer.

“Solid gray and white,” stated Chris.

”Non-tabby?” questioned the Customs Officer.

“Correct, Officer,” replied Chris.

“Will you be renting a car and riding in your world renowned shotgun seat next to Jasper Kitten?”

“Yes.”

“Even though in the UK, the driver seat and the passenger seat are in a reversed configuration from that of the US?”

“Yes,” replied Chris.

The Customs Official stamped the passport with another loud thud.

“Off you go and be very very careful, Chris. Next!”

Star stepped up and set her passport on the counter with a cinnamon brown paw.

“Are you acting in an Official Business capacity with Jasper Kitten?” barked the Customs Officer.

“Yes,” barked Star.

“State your Coat Pattern,” droned the Customs Officer.

“Solid Cinnamon Brown,” stated Star.

“Furthermore, are you acting in the capacity of the indispensable world renowned Canine Unit with Jasper Kitten?”

“Yes,” replied Star with her Senior Chihuahua can do attitude, the light flashing in her eyes.

The stamp thudded on the passport.

“Off you go and be very very very careful, Star. Next!”

Jojo stepped forward and was all ears for the ensuing line of questioning.

“Are you acting in an Official Business capacity with Jasper Kitten?” barked the Customs Officer.

“Yes,” barked Jojo.

“State your Coat Pattern,” droned the Customs Officer.

“Blond wirehaired,” stated Jojo.

“Are you Retired Law Enforcement?” barked the Customs Officer.

“Yes, I’m a Retired Sergeant Detective of the San Francisco Sheriff’s Department, Muttville Division, Canine Unit,” barked Jojo with the full authority of his tried and true Terrier temperament.

“You’re a long way from home. Be very very very very careful, Jojo. Off you go. Next!”

Now having cleared Customs, they tucked their Critter Passports back into their travel wallets and exited the Animal Reception Centre. They stepped out from under the cover of the eaves and felt the first rain to fall on them in England.

“Gosh, the rain in England sure is similar to the rain at our Condo in the Wooded Valley,” commented Star.

“Your meteorological and atmospheric point is well taken, Star,” mewed Jasper Kitten under the leaden sky.

“Logistics, logistics, Critters. We need to hop on the Shuttle to the Rental Car Park,” directed Chris.

“Thank you for handling these ground transportation logistics, Chris,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome, Jasper Kitten! I have received confirmation on my phone that our reservation for a rental original Mini is available for pick up in the Car Park.”

“Gosh, even the cars in England are in a park, it’s so natural,” exclaimed Star as a jet roared overhead. “But Chris, how does a car park differ from a parking lot?”

“It doesn’t,” he replied.

“Oh my goodness, thank you for the clarification, Chris.”

“You’re welcome, Star!”

They walked toward the Shuttle Zone when Jasper Kitten made an abrupt hop skip on his hind toebeans.

“Pardon me,” cried Jasper Kitten, sidestepping a dapper British Shorthair who brushed past him.

The finely attired British Shorthair, without a backwards glance, hailed a Black Cab that pulled up curbside. He hopped in and was whisked away.

“Gosh,” barked Star, “are you alright after being jostled, Jasper Kitten? That British Shorthair was awfully brisk.”

“I’m A-o’kay, thank you Star,” Jasper Kitten ran a white gloved paw across his Orange striped brow.

“London Heathrow is certainly one of the busiest airports in the world,” barked Jojo.

“It certainly is, Jojo. But. What. Is. That?” Jasper Kitten strode to the side of the curb.

“Gosh, Jasper Kitten, that British Shorthair must have dropped his hat when he hopped into the Black Cab and was whisked away,” called Star.

“I see. Your observation is quite astute, Star,” he affirmed.

Jasper Kitten leaned down and picked up the flattened hat, crushed and crumpled by the side of the road.

“If my instincts serve me correctly, this type of hat is a Bowler hat, although it is now grossly misshapen,” he asserted.

“Looks like the Black Cab ran it over when they whisked that brisk British Shorthair away,” growled Chris, low and slow.

“It is damaged beyond repair,” confirmed Jasper Kitten.

The Shuttle approached and the Critters hurried along. Jasper Kitten wiped the dirt off the smashed hat with a white gloved paw and stuffed it into his suitcase. They boarded the Shuttle, arriving at the Rental Car Park in record time.

Chris processed their rental car reservation and loaded their baggage into the original Mini. Star passed him three paper maps of England, of London, and of Roads to the Countryside. He stacked them in the glove compartment.

“These paper maps could prove indispensable in case of an electronic glitch with the phone,” commented Chris.

“Gosh, Chris, this original Mini is a real classic,” complimented Star as she climbed into the backseat with Jojo.

“Correct, Star,” confirmed Chris.

“Jasper Kitten, you’re going to have to drive in the right hand seat, the complete opposite of driving back home in the left hand seat,” noted Star.

“Yes,” he replied, adjusting the rear view mirror and catching a glimpse of her buckling up in the backseat right behind him.

Chris hopped into the passenger seat and with his toebean on the phone screen, tapped in Purrington Estate. The GPS coordinates and directions loaded and he gave the nod to Jasper Kitten.

“According to the GPS, we’ll be there in three hours,” said Chris.

“Purrfect, thank you, Chris,” replied Jasper Kitten.

“You’ve got this, Jasper Kitten,” barked Jojo, buckling up in the backseat behind Chris.

Jasper Kitten started the engine and the original Mini coughed to life. They pulled out of the car park and merged onto the main road. Star gazed out the window at the traffic that had slowed to a crawl.

“Gosh and furthermore, the direction of travel on the roads is the complete opposite of driving back home, too,” she said.

“This is the UK style of driving, Star, and you are correct about the reversal,” mewed Jasper Kitten as he navigated the original Mini through a roundabout.

“Gosh, why are we driving in circles, Jasper Kitten?” she exclaimed, catching his eye in the rear view mirror.

“Roundabouts are an engineered road style, known in the vernacular as a circular intersection, to manage the flow of traffic safely and efficiently in terms of both speed and direction. They are more popular here in England than where we live in the Wooded Valley,” replied Jasper Kitten, furrowing his brow.

“Take the exit,” repeated the voice from the phone as Chris clutched the device in his toebeans.

“May I make a suggestion, Jasper Kitten?” inquired Star.

“Yes, by all means, Star. Please. Proceed,” he said.

“The roundabout looks like a wheel with spokes. Each spoke must be an exit that will lead to a certain road. One of these exits is marked, LHR for London Heathrow and another road is marked This Way and another road is marked That Way and then the road that we need is marked Countryside. It’s a little tricky.”

”Yes,” agreed Jasper Kitten. He gripped the steering wheel with his retractable claws.

“So, how about if you take the spoke marked Countryside?”

“I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten as he veered onto the Countryside exit.

The traffic thinned and gradually picked up speed until the Detectives were cruising along in the original Mini. They left London far behind and green fields edged with stone walls rolled out ahead of them. Herds of grazing sheep dotted the landscape and the rain let up, then cleared to blue skies.

A small white sign pointed toward the Purrington Estate and the road narrowed to one lane, bordered by tall hedges.

“We’re on the map, Critters!” cried Jasper Kitten. “The Purrington Estate and the Country Manor House of Lord Archibald Purrington-Smith awaits us.”

“Gosh, it’s incredible that we’re almost to our investigative destination,” barked Star.

Jasper Kitten downshifted around a bend in the road, a large flock of sheep coming towards them. He slowed even more and drove close to the side of the road. The original Mini passed along the hedge, clearing it by a whisker.

”Nicely navigated, Jasper Kitten,” praised Chris.

“Gosh, we almost merged with the hedge,” observed Star.

“Both city and country driving certainly come with their own risks and perils,” commented Jojo as the car splashed through a puddle.

“Safety is paramount,” replied Jasper Kitten.

“It is,” barked Jojo.

The road fed onto a long gravel drive bordered by tall willowy trees at the peak of their Fall colors, blazing bright with red and gold, as the original Mini churned its way toward the Manor House that rose in the distance.

Jasper Kitten parked the car close to the house and the Critters hopped out. They stretched their toebeans on the manicured lawn after the long drive from London Heathrow, feeling refreshed by the cool damp grass.

“Chris, we’ll come back for our gear once we make our introductions,” instructed Jasper Kitten. “But I’ll bring the Attache Case. Because. It contains the piece of evidence that has brought us to the Purrington Estate and this critical initial investigative moment.”

“You mean…,” said Chris.

“Are you saying…,” said Star.

“Do we need…,” said Jojo.

“Yes. You are correct. I refer specifically to the light blue Airmail letter.”

“Gosh, the light blue Airmail letter really stood out of the mountain of mail that our detective agency received after solving The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope,” barked Star.

“Correct, Star. We will now present this upon our arrival in order to establish the authenticity of our communication with our new Client. Critters. Please. Proceed.”

They approached the imposing front door and Jasper Kitten reached out with his white gloved paw for the brass knocker in the shape of a Lion’s Head. He rapped three times on the ancient and ancestral oak door. And then his grip tightened around the handle of the Attache Case while the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency waited for the answer.