Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency plots the next move…
Today, Critters, the mystery continues to unfold in The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope. Welcome welcome to Chapter 3! What is in store next? Our Core Community Critters, Jasper Kitten, Chris and our Senior Shining Star are about to help us find out!
But first and foremost, Conversations with Critters is 2 years old! Yes! It’s true! We want to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you for reading and celebrating animal antics.
CwC launched two years ago, starting at zero and steadily growing. The Critters are currently read in 46 States and 52 Countries. We value your readership, luvluvluv, and support and we thank you. Onwards. Furever.
And now, please join us in excellent detective critter conversation!
Jasper: Hello, Critters! From the Launch of Conversations with Critters to the establishment of the J Kitten, Sleuth and Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency, we thank you for reading!
Chris: What and thank you, thank you very much for reading!
Star: Thank you for reading, dear gentle critters. Thank you very much! And Happy International Dog Day! We’ve got work to do, so let’s go dogs go!
The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope
Book 1 from The J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency
By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Star
Chapter 3
The Case of the Misplaced Priority Envelope
Meanwhile, back at the Condo…
After scratching the wingback chairs by the fireplace in unison with Chris, Jasper Kitten picked up his magnifying glass from the coffee table in the Catio. He held the chrome plated bell in his other white gloved paw and proceeded to examine the smooth shiny surface.
The bell showed minor scuffs, but little wear and tear. He turned the bell over and over, feeling the heft of it. Under magnification, he spotted an etching that had been imperceptible even with his trained feline visual acuity.
”Chris! Star! I found a maker’s mark on the chrome plated bell!” Jasper Kitten cried in awe and discovery.
His companions rushed to his side. He held the magnifying glass while they each looked at the maker’s mark.
”It looks like a jagged tooth,” said Chris. Star nodded in agreement.
”Yes,” replied Jasper Kitten. “It is most curious.”
Jasper Kitten set the magnifying glass and the chrome plated bell next to each other on the coffee table.
He was about to pick up the Treatise on Animal Magnetism when Star said, ”Jasper Kitten, I spied this plain white letter while sorting through the mail.”
”I see,” he said, looking at the small piece of mail clasped in her cinnamon brown paw.
”Gosh,” she exclaimed. “It’s another formal, professionally addressed envelope sent to the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.”
Jasper Kitten extended a single toebean in her direction. She passed the letter to him.
”Jasper Kitten, again there is no return address and the postmark is from San Francisco.”
He sliced it open and let out a brief shocked mew.
”It’s a slip of paper like the Haiku we received in the Priority Envelope, but this paper,” he held it high above his head, “this paper is blank!”
”What.” Chris gave a low growl.
”Jasper Kitten,” said Star, the light flashing in her eyes. “What is the possibility that the sender of the letter used invisible ink?”
”Oh my goodness,” he cried. “Star, that is a brilliant insight.” He ran to the utility cabinet and pulled out an ultraviolet flashlight.
”Jasper Kitten, this could very well be the right tool for the job,” exclaimed Star.
”Yes,” he replied. “Yes, Star, emphatically yes.” Jasper Kitten switched on the light.
The slip of paper lit up with writing and he read the script outloud:
”Mystery unfolds
Milepost 47
Clue in a Haiku”
“I knew it! I just knew it!” Chris gave a shout. “Someone is definitely watching us! They could be watching our every move!” He paced the room.
He grabbed his phone and started to scroll, his growl steady and deepening.
”Chris, this is no time to start checking your messages,” said Star.
”I knew it. I just knew it.” His toebeans tapped at the screen.
”Chris, what is going on with your phone?” Jasper Kitten approached him.
”My friends, my phone has been hacked, hacked I tell you!”
Jasper Kitten and Star each gave a sharp intake of breath.
”Even with all of my big data security settings updated and operating at the highest level possible, I have discovered a seemingly impossible breach.”
”You mean…” Star’s voice trailed off.
”Yes. I mean, Spyware!”
”You’ve got to shut that down right now,” cried Jasper Kitten. “There could be all kinds of bugs, viruses, glitches and hacks!”
Laser focused, Chris continued to tap his toebeans against the screen.
”What I’d like to know is whether we are dealing with a perp or whether we are dealing with a poet?” Jasper Kitten cut the air with his white gloved paw.
Chris continued tapping tapping on his phone, deleting a trove of hacked data and debugging the operating system. With one final flourish of his toe bean on the screen and a hard reset, he breathed a deep deep sigh of relief.
”Critters, no further felonious damage will be done. Our security has been restored.”
“Thank you for getting all over that, Chris,” said Star. “I feel so much safer.”
“You can never be too careful with today’s technology. It turned out to be a quick fix, but I should have been more vigilant.” Chris bowed his head.
”We are grateful to you for catching the Spyware, Chris. We trust you implicitly with our security,” said Jasper Kitten.
”Thank you, Jasper Kitten. That means the world to me.” Chris headed for the fridge. “I’d say, refreshments are in order.”
Jasper Kitten returned his attention to the latest envelope. Out of an abundance of investigative caution, he scanned the UV light across the small white surface, front and back, inside and out, but found nothing further.
”The rest of it is, in fact, blank. The Haiku is the only invisible writing,” he nodded in satisfaction with his findings. “I instinctively detect that a comparison of this small white envelope with the large Priority Envelope may reveal more information that will be quite useful. I will start with what these two items share in common.”
”They’re both envelopes,” said Chris, calling from the fridge.
”Yes. An astute observation.”
”And they both have postmarks from San Francisco,” said Star, adjusting her reading glasses.
”Correct. Also astute. Let us now proceed to examine, analyze and compare the two.” Jasper Kitten picked up the Treatise on Animal Magnetism and looked underneath it.
A puzzled look crossed his orange striped brow.
”Is everything o’kay, Jasper Kitten?” asked Star.
”Where is the Priority Envelope? I left it right here under the treatise.” He rifled through the pages.
”Is the Haiku that we found in the Priority Envelope also missing?” asked Chris, carrying a tray of ginger ale and snacks.
”The Haiku is here. I tucked it into the treatise.”
Chris set the tray on a side table.
Jasper Kitten patted the couch, his white gloved paws prying behind the cushions.
”It’s got to be right around here.” He turned in a circle, mystified, and crawled under the coffee table.
”Jasper Kitten, perhaps you walked into another room with it,” suggested Star.
”Perhaps, but unlikely.” Still, Jasper Kitten rushed to the kitchen.
He pulled the utensil drawer open. Three spoons were arranged in a neat row. He slammed the drawer shut and yanked the cupboard open. Three bowls sat stacked, but the cupboard was otherwise bare.
He headed for the recycling bin, finding a crumpled bag from their kibble and then he checked the food bin, filled to the brim. He grabbed the scoop and dug in deep, but to no avail.
Flummoxed, Jasper Kitten searched the breakfast nook, shaking out the placemats.
“Please, check the wingbacks!” He called out to Chris and Star. “And the fireplace!”
Chris snagged a claw on the wingback fabric and loosened the backing, then checked the cushions. Star scoped out the fireplace.
“No sign of it!” They called back.
Jasper Kitten inspected the utility cabinet. The headlamp and backup supply of magnifying glasses sat undisturbed with only a space between them reserved for the UV flashlight.
”Where could it be?” He cried out in dismay. His mind raced ahead. “What if! What if there’s a clue in the postmark! Or, possibly possibly, what if there’s a message written in invisible ink? And now I’ve missed it!”
“Let’s all search the garage!” Jasper Kitten gave the command and they ran down the hallway.
He flung the door open wide and they flocked around the car. They searched their respective places. Jasper Kitten patted down the driver’s seat, Chris the passenger seat, and Star the backseat, but still there was no sign, not a shred of evidence, of the Priority Envelope.
Chris tackled the trunk, the new spare tire secure in the wheel well and the climbing rope clean and coiled.
Star sorted through the maps in the glove compartment, all in order from the Northlands to the Southands, from the West Coast to the East Coast.
Jasper Kitten checked under the floor mats and checked under the hood, he kicked the tires one by one, the replacement tire solid, and he couldn’t help but think about a very large claw.
“How could the Priority Envelope be misplaced? We’ve looked everywhere!”
And then they heard it, coming from the Catio and clear as a bell.
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
The plot will thicken
Chapter Four is next Tuesday
A wrinkle in time
By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Star
Notes:
Catch up with the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Congratulations on the two year anniversary! It's very tricky starting from zero, but you've done an amazing job and have built something very special here. This was a very enjoyable Chapter 3, too. The end. Haha... 😎
“We work for free!” Signed, J. Kitten. ( and we will lose your bright shiny objects as well!)