Conversations with Critters

Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the highly anticipated release of Chapter 10! The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope…

Oct 15, 2024

Today, Critters, we present to you the highly anticipated release of Chapter 10 of The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope! Previously, the incredible J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency cracked a pair of codes, known in the vernacular as acrostics, and discovered another embedded clue in a footnote. They are off in a new direction, toward a distant horizon!

Please, welcome our Core Community Cats, Jasper Kitten and Chris, who join us with our opening commentary and excellent detective critter conversation.

Jasper: Hello, Friends! We’ve cracked the code for the next stage of the investigation! The Farallon Islands!

Chris: Hello, Dear Gentle Critters and Dear Gentle Readers! What. Happens. Next. Still. Remains. A. Mystery!

Jasper: That’s a great conversation opener, Chris. So, let’s go go go!

Chris: Thank you, Jasper. Thank you very much. Critters, let’s read all about it!

The Case of The Misplaced Priority Envelope
Book 1 from the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency
By Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star in Heaven Furever and Ever
Dedicated in luvluvluving memory of Star
Chapter 10
The Devil’s Teeth

The fog burned off to blue skies in Dogpatch, the marine layer having retreated to the horizon, and the temperature began to rise above the chill of the morning.

Clementine continued to sleep in Cecil’s arms while he purred to her, but her body jolted and shuddered and she cried out in her sleep.

”Nefarious Perp! Nefarious Perp! Help! Daddy! Help! Daddy!”

Cecil rocked her awake and she blinked. Seeing his gentle green eyes, her breathing calmed. She stretched and arched her back, spread out her paws and claws, then settled and sat down to groom herself.

The Critter Detectives, Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star busied themselves in the Catio with an intensity driven by their latest decoded intel, giving them new direction in both name and location. In their quest to crack the case, they set their sights on the horizon and the Farallon Islands, 30 miles west of San Francisco’s Golden Gate.

They folded the map of California, secured the Treatise on Animal Magnetism in the attaché case of evidence, and set the magnifying glass and Star’s extra pair of reading glasses next to each other on the coffee table.

Chris whipped up a quick kibble lunch and they all chowed down in the kitchen nook of the Earthquake Shack, plotting their next move.

“Gosh, I wonder who wrote the Treatise on Animal Magnetism,” said Star, scooping up a spoonful of kibble from her bowl with a cinnamon brown paw. “Furthermore, I wonder what kind of duress they must have been under to hide the secret clues in the acrostics and footnote on page 71.”

”I have a feeling we’re going to find out on the Farallones,” replied Chris.

”Gosh, who do you suppose sent the Treatise to the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency in the Priority Envelope? I mean, it was mailed from San Francisco and included the warning Haiku and I quote, ‘Bright shiny objects/Animal magnetism/Slam on the brakes hard.’ “

“And let’s not forget about the invisible ink with the jagged tooth insignia,” said Chris.

“Gosh, that’s what I mean. You know, in my humble opinion of the matter, this whole thing works on two different levels. A visible deliberate level and a hidden invisible level.”

”Go on, Star,” said Jasper Kitten, his orange stripes furrowed on his brow.

“Jasper Kitten,” said Star, “I have an inkling that the Treatise on Animal Magnetism and the Haiku warning were sent on purpose. Quite possibly after the near miss with the Big Rig, so it would arrive before we returned home to the Condo. ”

”Yes, it was a deliberate act, utilizing the Priority postal service to capture our attention and, I’d venture to say, to warn us off the case from the very beginning,” said Jasper Kitten.

”Why, I’m going to break the Nefarious Perp into pieces when we crack this case wide open!” growled Chris.

”Gosh, but that is stating the obvious,” said Star. “Because. Two things were hidden. First, the Priority Envelope contained the jagged tooth drawn in invisible ink as you have noted, Chris. Thank you for pointing this out. Thank you very much.”

”You’re welcome!” said Chris.

”Number two. We have the hidden codes, the acrostics and the footnote.”

”Yes, I see,” mewed Jasper Kitten, his spoon suspended over his bowl. “I see where you are going with this Star. We have the hidden messages, the location, location, location of San Francisco and the Farallones.”

”Correct, Jasper Kitten. So, the hidden clues are the parts of the puzzle that, in my humble opinion, were smuggled out of the Farallones as a cry for help.”

Jasper Kitten dropped his spoon into his bowl and hopped down from his chair.

“A cry for help. A hidden cry, but as loud as the mewing from the boat that got away this morning!”

Jasper Kitten turned to his friends.

”Critters, we must proceed with all due investigative detective caution to the Farallon Islands. The archipelago is a wild place, rugged and remote. We are, and I cannot emphasize the gravity of this enough, up against a formidable adversary in the Nefarious Perp who has, thus far, remained a step ahead of us.”

Chris and Star shifted in their seats. Cecil and Clementine looked over their spoons at Jasper Kitten.

“We must prepare. We must be ready for whatever comes our way. Let us embark on this intrepid expedition and crack this case once and for all and for the good of the entire Serval Family. The. Gloves. Are. Off.” Jasper Kitten swatted the air with a white gloved paw and strode from the room.

The Earthquake Shack veritably hummed with activity, with preparations and practicalities and with the anticipation, the excitement, and the adrenaline pumping instinctive whirlwind of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency to get ready, to get set, and to go go go.

”I will compile a preparedness checklist of what we need for the intrepid expedition,” said Chris, tapping his toebeans on his phone to open the checklist app.

“First and foremost, we need that Zodiac. Check,” he said, a toebean to the screen, “and then we need the rope from the car trunk, check, the headlamp, check, our travel bowls and spoons, check check, our kibble, check and we need our wits about us!”

“Yes!” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Put wits at the top of the list!”

“Done,” growled Chris low and slow. “Jasper, is your pocket magnifying glass in your pocket?”

”Yes. Check, Chris.”

“Excellent. Star, do you need to pack your extra backup pair of reading glasses in case we come across more cryptic writings on the Farallones?”

”Yes. Check, Chris.”

“Excellent and we need your Chihuahua can do attitude now more than ever as we are bound for the Farallon Islands, a wild place, rugged and remote as Jasper Kitten has stated. And,” he gulped, “surrounded by water.”

”On it,” barked Star. She pawed at the ground. “I. Am. Ready. To. Dig. Deeper.”

“Critters!” cried Jasper Kitten. “Get ready. Get set. Go!”

“I’m going to get the Zodiac!” cried Clementine and dashed out the front door.

She disappeared, running down the docklands toward Capt. Kangaroo Rat’s Main Ship. Cecil gave chase, not willing to let her out of his sight again.

”Clementine! Clementine!” He caught up with her as she rounded the pier toward Capt. Kangaroo Rat who saluted them from the deck.

In a rush of words, Clementine mewed the meaning of the cracked code to the Captain and the location of the Farallon Islands.

”The Farallones are a wild place, rugged and remote, Clementine,” advised Capt. Kangaroo Rat. “I would take you there myself, such is my own expertise of the High Seas, but I must stay on schedule with my sworn duty to the Degus and the culinary tour of the Lettuces of the Americas.”

“Please, Capt. Kangaroo Rat, may I puhleeze borrow your Zodiac? I learned a lot this morning on our ride and I’ll bring it back as soon as possible.”

”My family and I will, of course, take full responsibility for any potential damages and repairs, even a replacement if a worst case scenario were to unfold,” promised Cecil.

Capt. Kangaroo Rat eyed Clementine. Her earnestness and devotion to the cause, her furbaby’s cry for help, resonated in a deep and abiding way.

”Aye,” said the Captain in a wistful tone. “You remind me of myself when I was a young pup. I was once an apprentice, many years ago. I enlisted for the love of the sea and rose through the ranks. I charted a course unheard of at the time for a Kangaroo Rat.”

“Clementine is still cutting her teeth, Capt. She is too young to be a cadet.”

“Yes, I understand, Cecil. My point is that she deserves a chance to succeed. Exceptions can always be made in exceptional circumstances,” said Capt. Kangaroo Rat, tipping her hat.

“We will, of course, be sailing under the protection of the J Kitten, Sleuth & Purveyor of Bright Shiny Objects Detective Agency.”

“Yes, I have been most impressed with their skill sets and natural inventiveness under great if not tremendous pressure.”

“Thank you, Capt. Kangaroo Rat. We trust them with our lives.”

“Yes, I can see why. You are in good paws.”

“Furthermore,” continued Cecil, “Star is especially skilled as a swimmer and understands celestial navigation. She can read a map printed on paper, too. I believe she can and will perform well as a sailor under such dire circumstances to help reunite my family.”

”Of course, of course,” agreed Capt. Kangaroo Rat.

Jasper Kitten, Chris and Star came pounding down the dock in time to hear Capt. Kangaroo Rat say, “…young Clementine and Cecil, I have a spare.”

“Gosh, there’s a second Zodiac and it’s being lowered into the water!” exclaimed Star.

”Ahoy, Critter Detectives! Your Serval Clients have expressed the necessity of borrowing a Zodiac!” Capt. Kangaroo Rat saluted them.

“My apologies, Captain,” mewed Jasper Kitten. “Clementine got a little ahead of our, shall we say, rather last minute planning.”

”It is my honor to lend my spare Zodiac to you, Jasper Kitten. And I believe, Clementine’s future as a Captain of the High Seas is quite bright.”

”Thank you, Captain. Thank you very much. We are truly humbled,” bowed Jasper Kitten.

”The life jackets are onboard. Remember that safety is paramount.”

The Critters all nodded their agreement and understanding as they clambered aboard. They listened closely as Capt. Kangaroo Rat briefed them on their journey.

“Beware, my friends! You must exercise extreme caution when landing. The rocks and underwater shoals are treacherous. There are no docking facilities on the Farallones. You must use a boat crane to lift the Zodiac out of the water. This Zodiac is specially outfitted with cable attachments for a boat crane.” She pointed to the fasteners.

“Critters,” she went on, “the ancient mariners called the islands, The Devil’s Teeth, for a reason. Furthermore, Hoomans once lived there and caused a great deal of damage, but now it is free and wild again. Godspeed on your journey.” Capt. Kangaroo Rat gave a final salute and the Critters departed from the Main Ship.

Jasper Kitten steered the Zodiac back to the dock closest to the Earthquake Shack. Chris and Star hopped to it and made a quick turnaround, gathering their gear. They loaded back into the boat and the Critters set sail, passing under the Golden Gate Bridge for the second time that day and heading toward the west.

Two hours later, they cruised into the waters off the coast of Southeast Farallon Island. Flocks of gulls greeted them overhead and groups of seals and sea lions basked in the sun, scattered throughout the island.

Jasper Kitten spotted the boat crane and angled the Zodiac toward the rocky shore. The waves carried them closer and closer. Chris poised himself on the side of the Zodiac, gauged the distance and jumped. He clung to the slick rocks, and pushed off with the power of his hind legs, using his own momentum to scale the rugged shoreline.

Gaining level ground, he bounded ahead to the crane and took command of the controls. He lowered the cables to the Zodiac. Jasper Kitten and Star worked in tandem to secure the cables to the boat and waved back to Chris with their white gloved and cinnamon brown paws.

Chris drove the boat crane higher and higher, lifting the Zodiac 30 feet into the air and swinging it onto shore. The Critters touched down on Southeast Farallon Island, shed their life jackets and faced the two dilapidated Victorian cottages, one to the left and one to the right, that stood in vacant stark contrast to the wild place in which they had landed, populated with thousands of species in the air, on the ground and in the water.

The wind kicked up and a roof shingle lifted, then tore off from the cottage on their right. The shingle caught on the wind and blew across the grounds. The curtain in the upstair’s window fluttered and a shadow passed behind it.

”What was that?” they called to each other, but their voices were drowned out and carried away like the shingle that had disappeared in the bluster of the wind.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Poetry with Pets

Lifted by a crane

Two cottages side by side

Rugged and remote

By Jasper Kitten and Chris