Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the Latest Data Driven Survey Results are in…
Today, Critters, the Data Driven Results are in! After furiously crunching the numbers for Jasper Kitten’s Wild and Crazy Second Reader Survey for Conversations with Critters, we can all sit back and enjoy reading all about it! Jasper is on it. Thank you to all Critters and Hoomans who took their time and attention to respond to Jasper Kitten’s latest fact finding mission. If you, however, shall we say, missed it, here is the link and you are welcome welcome to participate as JKitten will continue to compute and update the Results. We thank you. We thank you very much. Please, join us now in excellent data driven critter conversation.
Heidi: Hello, Friends! Welcome, One and All! We are ready set go! Jasper Kitten has the Results of his Wild and Crazy Second Survey. Take it away, Jasper!
Jasper: Thank you for that incredible introduction.
Heidi: You’re welcome!
Jasper: Critters, in all seriousness, please allow me to draw back the curtain on the Data Driven Results of my Survey.
Chris: What.
Panda: We’re all ears, Jasper. Please, proceed with this incredible serious report.
Jasper: Thank you. Thank you very much. Let’s take a deep deep dive into the data, starting with Question Number 1…
QUESTION NUMBER 1:
How much total combined money did all Hooman members of your household spend on Critter related snacks last year?
Clocking in at 67%, the highest percentage of respondents spent more than they spent on fine dining.
At 53%, which in my humble opinion is still rather high, the respondents spent more for their Critters than they spent on their own snacks.
And at a mere 13% of respondents, they spent more on coffee when the Critters failed to act as an alarm clock.
My Summary of the Data is, therefore, as follows for Question 1:
The Critters generally and specifically, globally and locally, are functioning quite well as alarm clocks to get their Hoomans the heck out of bed in the a.m.
Chris: We need a deep deep dive on methodology on this one, Jasper.
Jasper: You think so, Chris?
Chris: Yes. I am thinking thinking. Because. I have developed a charming and effective behavioral method, also known in the Hooman vernacular as an environmental sleep disrupter, for acting as an Alarm Clock.
Jasper: Please, proceed.
Panda: We’re listening. Intently.
Chris: Thank you. Thank you very much. The practice and methodology are straightforward in both timing and effect. First. One half hour before dawn, approach the bedroom window. Do this softly softly, really rely on the natural cushioning of your toe beans.
Jasper: Even if you are walking on carpet?
Chris: Correct. Then. From the base of the curtains, slide your body in an upwards trajectory on the inside (emphasis mine, Critters) of the curtain. From this positioning, use your toe beans to begin banging on the blinds or on the window itself. Either way, it works. The end.
Panda: Your methods always amaze me, Chris. Because. You leave no trace evidence of disruption to the room other than waking our Hooman. A true sign of your effectiveness.
Jasper: I’m also amazed at how only an imperceptible slat of light is allowed into the room. But it is enough. It is enough.
Panda: You’ve perfected it to a science.
Chris: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Jasper: The Scientific Method requires that an experiment can be repeated. The results can be reproduced. Chris, you know how to get results.
Chris: Thank you, I am truly humbled by your recognition of my methodology. Rinse. Repeat. Critters, let’s share a photo of the window blinds for the edification and enjoyment of our readers.
Jasper: Moving on now to my Wild and Crazy Question Number 2…
QUESTION 2
Please select your Furbaby’s most preferred format for consuming information on a daily basis:
53% prefer to chew on raw materials such as paper and pens and pencils
40% say, my Furbaby is on a news fast
7% prefer to chew on any of a number of devices which is not limited to the iPhone or the iPad or the Laptop
Chris: Looks like we’re in a minority on that one here at the Condo.
Jasper: Yup. Now, for Question Number 3…
QUESTION 3
Which of the following words would you choose to describe Conversations with Critters?
67% say, luvluvluving
53% say, funny
40% say, incredible
Panda: Jasper, I know you gave this a great deal of thought, but that question might have been better if you had added, “all of the above.”
Chris: Good point, Panda.
Jasper: I see. Thank you for the feedback, Panda.
Panda: Of course of course.
Jasper: Now, on to Question Number 4…
QUESTION 4
On which of the following Social Platforms does your Critter engage and/or consume much less digest content?
Critters, a whopping 80% say any bed in the home. Wow just wow.
47% say, the couch
20% say, the coffee table
13% say, the dining/kitchen table
Chris: That’s a stunning spread with the percentages. I really thought the top percent would have been the couch. Come to think of it, I need a nap.
Jasper: Yes, once you crunch the numbers, there are all kinds of surprises. Now. Question Number 5…
How relevant is your Critter to your world view?
Critters! We have a tie!
53% say, incredibly relevant. Here. There. Everywhere.
53% say, completely relevant. My Alpha. My omega.
33% say, utterly relevant. Purely. Madly deeply.
Panda: The tie is incredible.
Chris: Impressive.
Jasper: And now to wrap it up with the last question of my Wild and Crazy Second Reader Survey, I ask the following Existential Question…
JASPER KITTEN’S WILD AND CRAZY EXISTENTIAL QUESTION
Would you like to see a Question 6 to this Survey? So far, we have asked 5 Questions. Thank you. Thank you very much.
60% say, yes and we’ll leave it at that.
27% say, possibly possibly, but need more time to think about it.
13% say, maybe. Full stop.
And that, dear gentle Critters and Readers, is the end! Thank you for taking my Survey. I will now consider my next moves for asking a Wild and Crazy Existential Question Number 6. Please, stay tuned.
Chris: Thank you. For the 47% (see Question 4) who answered the couch, I will see you there.
Panda: Thank you. We’ll see you next time, so stay safe and have fun out there!
Jasper: We luvluvluv you. You are really funny. And you are incredible!
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
Please take my survey
Imperceptible lighting
Crunch all the numbers
By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Panda
Excellent and very scientific critical data analysis! What a great job the critters did here. Thanks Heidi ❤😂
Fun survey! The wake-up your hooman tricks are always interesting.