Conversations with Critters
Walk with the animals. Talk with the animals. And the Results are in…
Today, Critters, the Results are in for Jasper Kitten’s First of Its Kind Reader Survey for Conversations with Critters!
Typically on Tuesdays, we send a post to our paid subscribers, but Critters, we are taking down the paywall to bring you this exciting news.
We received an outstanding response and Jasper Kitten has been furiously crunching the numbers, analyzing the data, and he is driven to deliver the answers, synthesized across all categories. As you may recall, he asked six (6) questions total. Friends, please join Jasper Kitten now for the Data Driven Results with his Commentary on the path unwinding.
We thank you for your participation and welcome you in excellent critter conversation.
Jasper: Hello, Friends! Hello, Critters! Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond to my Survey. Please, allow me to share the Results with you. First up, we have…
QUESTION 1
WHAT DOMESTIC CRITTERS DO YOU LIVE WITH?
Dogs! Dogs, I tell you, top the list at 38% of respondents. Can you believe it, Critters?
Panda: Yeah. I feel good about it.
Chris: What about Cats?
Jasper: Good question, Chris, I’m getting to that next. Cats! 31% of respondents live with Cats!
Chris: That’s a pretty good percentage all things considered.
Jasper: Yes, good point, overall. But here’s where it gets really interesting. We have a small percentage of respondents who do not live with any kind of Critter. None!
Chris: Incredible.
Jasper: Yes. However, it has been noted that this may only be temporary for certain households. I feel good about it. And on a note that garners our deep deep sympathy, we have friends who feel the grief and loss of their critter companions and that is the end.
Chris: We send them our luvluvluv.
Jasper: Yes, we understand.
Panda: We luvluvluv you.
Jasper: Thank you, Panda. Thank you very much. Now! We have one more Special Critter the likes of which we have not heard of previously in the annals of time at Conversations with Critters.
Chris: What.
Jasper: While no one has a Wascily Wabbit, there are Delightful Degus.
Chris: What Incredible Critters! Let’s share a photo of these special Furbabies for the edification and enjoyment of our readers. According to our research, Degus look like this:
Panda: They really are delightful!
Jasper: Incredible. We are so happy to make their acquaintance. I hope we got that photo right. Now, moving on to…
QUESTION 2
DO YOU LIKE NOUNS OR VERBS?
Critters, I am shocked! Shocked, I tell you! Because! A whopping 54% of respondents like nouns! Can you believe it!
Chris: That is truly shocking in the extreme, Jasper. We appreciate how much you like Strong Verbs.
Jasper: Yes! Everything should be a Verb. However, as I have previously stated, this Survey is unbiased and Critters are answering as an act of free will. So there’s that. In second place are verbs at 46%! And following up with that, 23 % clock in implicitly, reflexively and thoroughly disliking grammar. The end.
Chris: Jasper, you designed the Survey to include more Questions.
Jasper: Yes! I’m o’kay, I’m o’kay. I am calming my Orange Self. Let’s move on to:
QUESTION 3
WHAT CRITTERS DO YOU LUVLUVLUV THE MOST AND WHY? PLEASE EXPLAIN.
I’m am going to list the responses as they speak for themselves and are incredible!
…all kinds, except mosquitos and ticks. Probably not spiders. Ok. mostly furry, cuddly, give me a reason to laugh out loud critters.
All, all critters!! Except cockroaches.
Cats, because are they are small and soft and vibrate when they’re happy; dogs, because they’re funny, cute, and just want to make people happy; sharks, because they are misunderstood and beautiful.
Cats for their perfect companionship and birds for their never ending entertainment.
It’s a tie between degus and American Woodcocks.
My dog and I knew each other in past lives.
Cats…as destructive as they can be, they’re so cute while doing it.
Dogs as they love you unconditionally.
I love them all. We have allergies so do not keep cats, but we still love them, and try to provide shelter and a bit of comfort to the ferals outside. Birds are another favorite; still learning facts, but love to watch them.
Cats, as their purr is relaxing, and they can be independent, as well as loving.
Cats and dogs, mainly.
Birds all the way. More specifically American Crows. They are my favourite of all birds species. I love their intelligence, curiosity, and blue-black feather markings.
Jasper and Chris. Jasper’s responses are interesting. Chris’s response to conversations that he needs a nap makes me chuckle!
Chris: Critters, that last response on the list plus all of the statements about Cats is most profound.
Panda: I find it fascinating that there is a great recognition for lots of different kinds of Critters. Sharks, Degus, American Woodcocks, American Crows, birds in general. Incredible and wide ranging.
Jasper: The Survey is beyond my wildest expectations! I would also like to briefly use my toe beans to touch on the issue of reincarnation. I am all for it! It exceeds my 9 lives! Furever!
Now on to…
QUESTION 4
GENERALLY SPEAKING, IS YOUR FURBABY BETTER EDUCATED THAN THE HOOMAN(S) IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD?
Critters, we have a tie between Yes and Street Smart (48%) and Yes although often lacking in what is known in the vernacular as common sense (38%). We also have a smaller percentage, 15% specifically, of highly educated household Furbabies who hold multiple degrees from a fully accredited institution. The end.
Chris: Good answers, Critters. I hope the 15% with multiple degrees don’t have student loans.
Jasper: Excellent point, Chris. Now, moving on to…
Question 5
WHAT TOPICS ARE YOUR CRITTERS MOST INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT?
Critters, I am please to report that Food is the top priority at 62%! And we have a second place tie for Toys and Naps at 46%.
Chris: Clearly, I am in the minority. But, we are almost done and I can go back to sleep.
Jasper: Yes! Exactly! Our final question is as follows…
QUESTION 6
WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING BESTS DESCRIBES THE WORK STATUS OF YOUR HOUSEHOLD?
Critters, please allow me to keep listing the responses in a statistical format. I don’t know how to make a graph or chart, so please forgive me…
At a whopping 54% the answer is My cat is a critter of leisure and would never consider working not even remotely.
At a less than whopping but still respectable 31% the answer is My dog stays on the couch while the Hooman(s) in the household toil away.
And last but not least, the Survey concludes with a relatively small but vital and robust 23% who say that My dog is a working breed. Imagine that, Panda! A working breed!
Panda: Incredible.
Jasper: Critters, thank you thank you thank you with luvluvluv for taking the time for my Survey. I am deeply humbled. The. End.
🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾
Poetry with Pets
Ask six questions
Respond to my Survey
Thank you for your time
By Jasper Kitten, Chris & Panda
Thumbs up from Steve, and Mori and Pluto -- our one feline and two canine fur babies.
I think this crowd is more verb oriented, although Steve has a fondness for nouns, especially the edible kind, and the ones that can be batted around with his paw.
That was probably the greatest survey in the history of surveys. I also need to research degus -- they are so cute! I had never heard of them.